Black Light
by Pinkster Lily
Summary: Isabella Masen never expected to fall in love, at least not until she met Edward Swan. The only problem? Isabella Masen is a vampire. And Edward? Human.
1. Prologue: Hospital

_Summery: Isabella Masen never expected to fall in love, at least not until she met Edward Swan. The only problem? Isabella Masen is a vampire. And Edward? Human._

_Um…this is my first Twilight story, so I would really appreciate it if I got some feed back on the story. So, without further adieu…_

Black Light

By:

Vixen Hood

Prologue:

Hospital

Chicago, Illinois—September 15, 1918

Isabella Marie Masen

"Mother…please…save your energy for getting better," I coughed weakly, trying to turn my head away from the soup that she was attempting to force-feed me.

"Nonsense, nonsense," she muttered, finally getting the thin broth down my throat. I coughed again.

I knew I was dying and the doctors knew it too. Mother was only hurting her chances of survival, for I knew that I had none. The hospital was filled with the sufferers of the influenza—both alive and dead, the latter more so than the former. When we had first been admitted, my father along with two other patients had been in this room. Now it was only Mother and I. I groaned and turned my head to the side after another spoonful of broth. I was purely exhausted and ready for sleep now, the simple task of swallowing broth too much for me.

Mother seemed to realize this and moved the tray away, leaning down to kiss my forehead and wish me well. Her green eyes, so much like my own, connected with mine as she brought her lips from my head. "You look so much like your father, my dear Bella. Only with my eyes." She sighed, and then the world went black as I finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

When I woke, things weren't as clear as they were before. Everything was blurry and it was foggy around the edges of my vision. And God was standing over me! Had I died in my sleep? Was I in heaven now? No, I was still in the hospital, and it wasn't God who stood over me but the beautiful Dr. Cullen, so young and innocent looking but still somehow wise, too wise, for his years. His cold hand was on my feverish forehead, feeling my temperature. His face looked torn in despair.

He turned from me to Mother, and instantly looked taken aback. Mother's voice, weak and hoarse from the influenza, sounded still angry and harsh, and even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was using her famous glare that she used to intimidate people into doing what she wanted when she was upset. "Save her!" I heard her command. Save me? Save me? I was beyond saving, she must mean someone else. I moaned with the fever.

"I'll do everything in my power." I had closed my eyes again, to weak to keep them open, content to just listen vaguely.

"You must," Mother's voice insisted, upset. I could almost hear the tears. "You must do everything in _your_ power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Isabella."

What others cannot do, what others cannot do. What _could_ Dr. Cullen do? I faded again, knowing that this was the last time I would ever be conscious. I just wish I could say goodbye, to Mother, to Father, to dear kind Dr. Cullen. But apparently not even God would allow that...

* * *

I was vaguely aware of a _whooshing_ of air in my ears and the cold chest that I was held to, so much colder than the air itself. Where was I? More importantly, who was carrying me? I couldn't open my eyes to see, I had no strength to. Abruptly, the _whooshing_ stopped and I felt myself being lowered onto a soft surface, though it felt as if it was not _me_ being lowered, but someone else, and I was just watching, observing from afar. Dr. Cullen's voice floated over to me in the silence.

"Isabella? If you're awake, I'm so sorry."

Sorry? Sorry for what?

My answer was given to me as a fiery, burning pain pierced the flesh in my neck. It broke the skin of my neck again and again, moving to my shoulders and I felt my arm snap. A ragged gasp escaped my mouth. The pain…the pain… "The fire," I gasped. "The fire, stop the fire!" My voice was weak, just like Mother's. What had I done? I was in hell surely, the fire burned just like those the priest said in hell would.

And, as I lay gasping in pain, a loud, blood-curdling scream ripped from my lips, high enough to hurt even my ears.

I was in hell, I decided. And there was no way that I was ever getting out. And Dr. Cullen, the one that I had just previously thought of as God, was holding my hand; murmuring apologizes into my ear, telling me it would be over soon. The liar. He was not God but Lucifer, Satan, the Devil! Whatever you wished to call him—it was _he_ that had sent me to this hell, and I hated him for it.


	2. Speeding

Chapter One:

Speeding

Forks, Washington—January 17, 2005

Edward Anthony Swan

I was currently sitting in Charlie's police cruiser. Renee, my mother, had been unwilling to let me move out here to be with my dad, but I had convinced her in the end that I actually _wanted_ to go. Key sarcasm here.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Charlie, and the rain of Forks didn't bother me at all (okay, it bothered me a little bit, though not that much), but I had grown up in Phoenix, I loved the sun, and that small but key factor was something missing here in the lovely _green _town of Forks. I mean, seriously! It should be illegal for something to be this green. I hadn't seen Charlie since I was about fifteen, and back then I was a small, slightly awkward boy. And now I was tall, to put it simply. Taller than Charlie by at least a good three inches. And I could tell Charlie was a bit shocked as he saw me in the airport. I think the only reason he had actually recognized me was because of my strange bronze hair, a color that seemed to only belong to me.

Renee always said that I took after my Grandpa Anthony, which would explain things seeing as both Renee and Charlie had brown hair and eyes that were not green. In my opinion, I was the freak of the family, just like dear old Grandpa had been. Mom always said that it made me unique, but there I disagreed with her.

Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably and tried to make small talk with me on the two hour drive from Port Angeles to Forks, but I just remained silent while staring out the window. People thought that since Charlie was a guy and I was a guy that we would get along well, but I didn't ever really _connect_ with Charlie. Maybe if I had gotten to know him better I might have, but since I had only seen Charlie sporadically after my birth I never actually had a nice long conversation with him.

So, when Renee got remarried to Phil, I decided to have some good get-to-know-dad-better time for the last year and a half of high school that I had before college. Phil was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but I could tell by Renee's eyes that she really wanted to be able to travel with him on his out-of-town baseball games and I felt guilty that I was the thing that was holding her back.

Soon we were at the house, still the same after all those years since it was built. I didn't feel like hanging around downstairs and since I was actually tired from the flight, I didn't feel at all ashamed as I told Charlie that I wanted to go to go bed after unpacking my things.

And after traipsing up the stairs to my old bedroom, I didn't even bother to take off my shoes before collapsing on the bed and passing out.

* * *

Isabella Marie Masen 

Over the years I had been with Carlisle, I had come to an understanding with him. I no longer hated him, because with my gift I understood his reasons for changing me. My gift was Intuition, meaning that I just _knew_ things. It was almost like a cross between mind-reading and Alice's gift, which was seeing the future. Even I have to say it was pretty cool. Carlisle figured that it was my power because I had always been overly observant when I was human, but as far as I was concerned, the fact that I could know exactly when Emmett was going to chuck a snowball at me so I could duck and throw one right in between his eyes was really funny.

So when I got up to get dressed this morning for yet another day of high school and the moment came where I realized that there was going to be a new student in class today, I was ecstatic that I knew before Alice did, and was about to rub it in her face when she called, "Don't even think about it Isabella Masen!" From down the hall, her voice was harsh from echoing to me and I sighed heavily.

"Then where's the fun in knowing before you?" I muttered, knowing that she would hear me, and that the rest of the family would be thoroughly confused. Suddenly I had a flash that Emmett would be yelling in about two seconds, demanding to know what was going on, as usual. "Don't even think about it!" both Alice and I called in unison. Emmett grumbled something about 'stupid vampires and their stupid powers' before going back to whatever he had been doing before. A grin spread across my face.

Of all my 'siblings', Emmett and Alice were probably the ones I was closest to. Alice because her gift was so similar to mine, though she could see exactly what happened in the future where I only got the bare minimum and Emmett because of his hilarious stupidity. He was the one exception to the rule 'vampires are like elephants, they remember everything.' Honestly, that man would forget his own head if it wasn't already attached to his shoulders. Jasper was also very nice, but I could tell that he only chose our lifestyle because of Alice, and was therefore very aloof to his surroundings. Jasper was older than me by several years, both physically and in vampire years. I respected him deeply and didn't bother him when he wanted his privacy because I knew what he had gone through in the South in the years following his change. I guess that we weren't really that close, but we both had a mutual respect of the other, a careful boundary that neither crossed. It was almost similar to the thin line between life and death, at any moment it could be overstepped and something awful might happen.

And as for Rosalie, to but it bluntly, I didn't really like her, and I knew that the feeling was mutual, to some degree. I mean, sure we could get along, and sometimes we actually acted like_ friends_, but she was too vain for my taste, and I too overly emotional for hers.

Esme was a wonderful mother, to put it simply. She and Carlisle were like the parents that I had back in 1918. Esme loved us all in her own, sometimes overbearing way, and Carlisle was so compassionate…he rarely thought of himself, and it was this compassion that allowed him to be a doctor. I wished I could be more like Carlisle; he was my role model in every way.

Alice decided at that moment to burst into my room, rudely awakening me from my reverie as the door banged against the wall and I heard Esme tell her from downstairs to watch the wall. Grabbing my hand, she practically dragged me down the stairs and into the garage, trying to take my car keys from me before I could get my head on straight. Fortunately (for both me and my car) she didn't succeed. If Alice had ended up driving my car, she probably would have turned it into a twisted heap of metal on the side of the road. I mean, she did it the last time she had a car in '93. Esme wouldn't allow her to drive for about a decade after that incident.

Instead, she pouted and slid into the back seat of my dark blue Audi while I laughed and waited for everyone to get into the car.

Emmett sat upfront because of his hugeness while Jasper and Rose joined Alice in the back. And revving my beautiful car's engine playfully, I backed out of the garage and then fishtailed out onto the drive, the speedometer going from zero to eighty in a matter of seconds before it inched up to ninety, and then finally, one-twenty.

Emmett whooped loudly, causing us all to laugh as we reached Forks High in record time.

_I know this chapter is rather uneventful. It's just filler, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon. Don't forget to check out my poll! Please review!_

_V.H._


	3. Someone Up There Must Hate Me

Chapter Two:

Someone Up There Must Hate Me

Edward Anthony Swan

_BEEP-BEEP. BEEP-BEEP. BEEP-BEEP._

It was almost as if the alarm clock was saying, _GET-UP. GET-UP. GET-UP._

You would think that living somewhere new and getting to know new people would be exciting, but no. And as my alarm clock beeped shrilly at me, I groaned and buried my head under my pillow, wishing that the beeping would stop, and that I'd be back in Phoenix again. I pulled my head back up and looked at the window hopefully.

Apparently someone up there was against me today.

The clock continued to beep at me, only this time the beeps became more agitated, as if it was trying to yell at me in its own special way of communication.

_BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBE—_

The incessant noise of the clock was silenced momentarily as it went sailing through the air and crashed into the wall, clattering to the floor. I thought that was the end of it. _Finally,_ I thought. _The battery must have popped out._

A single beep emanated from the offending clock, quickly followed by another. Someone must _really hate me_ today.

Groaning again, I threw the covers off of me and winced slightly as the cold floor boards of my room made contact with my bare feet. My room had basically stayed the same since my birth. The walls were a dark, slightly faded, blue and the wooden dresser and rocking chair from my first few years were still there. It looked like Charlie hadn't even entered the room since the last time I had been here four years ago. Even the blue curtains from seventeen years ago still hung at the old window.

I bent down and picked up the alarm clock. "You may have won the battle," I told it as I shut it off, "but you haven't won the war." It let out one last dignified beep before it was completely silenced.

* * *

After taking a shower and fixing my messy hair to the best of my ability, I dressed in a simple pair of faded jeans and a green t-shirt that Renee always said brought out my eyes. Smiling grimly to myself, I tramped downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal before I left to go to Hell—I mean school. I noticed a note from Charlie with directions to Forks High and, strangely enough, a pair of keys. Did Charlie mean to have me drive the cruser? I leaned to the side to look out the kitchen window. At first glance, the drive way looked empty, but as I leaned farther to the side, I noticed a large red pickup at the far end of the drive. How had I missed that coming in? The thing was enormous. 

Realization dawned on me as I remembered Charlie talking about getting me a truck to drive around Forks. So _this_ was the truck. More like a beast if you asked me. It has to be at least forty years old from the style, an old Chevy truck most likely. I couldn't tell from my limited vantage point.

Deciding that I wanted a closer look at the monster vehicle, I quickly finished up my breakfast and put the bowl in the sink to wash later before grabbing the keys and directions and heading to the door. I slipped on my sneakers and black raincoat while at the same time slinging my schoolbag onto my shoulder. I dashed outside, hoping that the temporary lapse in rain would stay long enough for me to get to school. The red truck looked okay from the outside, it had new paint job and the wheels looked in good shape. But I didn't care about the outside, it was under the hood that concerned me.

Now, I knew a thing or two about cars, especially older ones. Back home in Phoenix, Renee's car always used to break down, and in the most inconvenient places too. It was like it was waiting for the worst place to give out, just for me. So after many incidents where Renee's old car decided it wanted a break, I went to a car repair shop to get an internship. It turns out that doing that was one of the smartest things I ever did. Anyways, it definitely beat my decision to come to Forks by a long shot.

I heaved the hood of the truck up, and almost passed out. The engine was _beautiful._ That was the only word for it. Mostly brand new engine parts stared up at me as I gazed at it. Whoever had put it together was brilliant, there was no doubt about that. I would have to ask Charlie tonight about the guy who built this.

Slamming the hood down, I climbed into the drivers seat, jammed the key in and turned. The roar the engine made was loud, but subdued, and I smiled to myself. For once everything was working out. I should have known that it was to good to last.

_Finally, another chapter! I'm sorry it took so long. I'm currently at my dad's in Alabama so I didn't have my computer to work on. I'm currently using my step-mom's laptop. I'm sorry for the short chapter, and I'll try to post another chapter soon._

_**BY THE WAY**, I'm changing a few things about Twilight. It was not Jacob that worked on Edward's truck. In this story, Jacob is two years older than Edward and in collage. Jacob and Rachel are twins, while Rebecca (who in Twilight is Rachel's twin and older than Edward) is about fifteen or sixteen. I think that is all._

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	4. A Tentative Line

_I think I'm mostly going to do Bella's POV for this story. I might do a little of Edward here or there, but in my opinion, I suck at writing Edward. I just can't think like a teenage boy. That's probably because I'm not one. Anyways, I totally forgot to do a disclaimer! I could have been sued!_

_**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight or Edward Cullen. And definitely not Jasper Hale. Or Carlisle. If I owned them, do you think I would be typing on fanfiction? No, I would be writing Breaking Dawn. So if you think I'm Stephanie Meyer, I think you should see a doctor for that nasty bump on your head._

Chapter Three:

A Tentative Line

Isabella Marie Masen

School was incredibly boring.

Between Mike Newton trying for the ten-thousand three-hundred and sixty-seventh time to ask me out (and _yes,_ I have been counting) and the classes that I could teach better than the teacher that was trying to teach it, I was—incredibly—_annoyed_. I think it was the first time in about sixty-three years that I have been so annoyed. At least since that one boy back in the forties that tried to get me to marry him four times. And I was seriously starting to think that he had been a lot easier to deal with than Mike Newton. Would that boy simply take a hint, or was he really _that_ oblivious? Apparently so, because as I sat in my fourth period listening to Coach Clapp as he explained to the class how to play volleyball, Mike would simply _not shut-up._ Emmett was snickering quietly from his position across the Gym with Coach Marek, and I glared at him the entire time, knowing that he knew what I was going through and still thought it funny.

"The problems with being single, Bells..." I heard him mumble as he played basketball with the rest of his team. If there wasn't a bunch of humans watching, I would have definitely been trying to throttle him by now.

"—want to go out with me on Friday?" I snapped back to Mike Newton as he finally finished his spiel on why I should date him. Suddenly, an idea that might get both him off my back for the rest of the year and allow me to get revenge on Emmett came to mind, and I grinned widely. I closed my eyes and used my power to look ahead. Yes, it would work. I could see Emmett from the corner of my eye looking in my direction, trying to see what I was about to do. I turned to Mike as the class started to talk among themselves.

"I don't know Mike," I said, making my face look hesitant.

"Isabella, I promise you'll like it," he hastily said, as I let my eyes bore into his own washed out and dull pair.

"Still...I do _bite_!" Upon that declaration, I suddenly snapped my teeth at him, and his eyes zeroed in on my very sharp, white teeth. I let my eyes go black with the frustration I felt and leaned in.

Mike suddenly jumped up from where we were sitting. "I-I g-got to-to g-g-go," he stuttered, his eyes still on my teeth as he tripped over his own feet in his haste to get away and fell over a couple of gossiping students with a yell.

Emmett's booming laugh sounded from across the gym and a few children near him started to stare. "Nice one Bella," he said just loud enough so that I could hear. "You'll have to tell everyone at lunch about it."

"Indeed," I mumbled, causing him to double over in laughter. Little did he know that he had fallen into my trap.

"Mr. Cullen!"

Emmett ceased his laughter and turned to see Coach Marek almost nose to nose with him. Coach Marek was an imposing man. Few human's could intimidate a vampire, and even fewer could manage to scare Emmett in all his six foot five inch glory. Coach Marek seemed to be on of the few exceptions.

Emmett tried to back away unsuccessfully from the five foot six inch tall human man before him as Marek began to speak again.

"Do you care to share what is so funny with the class, Mr. Cullen?"

"No-no sir," Emmett stuttered.

"Cullen..." the irritable couch growled.

"It was Bella, I swear!"

Marek glanced at me, and I quickly busied myself with the volleyball that I was currently serving. "Detention, Cullen. My office. Have a nice day."

I burst out laughing and passed it off as a cough as Emmett turned to glare at me. "_I am going to get you,_" he hissed lowly.

"Irritable grizzlies will be less fierce than I," I said, smirking. "Have fun in detention. Sorry about your permanent record. I guess it's going to be scarred by your first detention ever."

* * *

Lunch came quickly and soon I was in the small school cafeteria and I walked over to where Alice was sitting with Jasper and sat down on Jasper's other side. The second I sat down, Alice launched into her vision about what had happened in Gym. "That was so cool Bella!" she squeaked in her high voice. 

I smirked. "Emmett had it coming."

Even Jasper (who frankly wasn't that much of a laugh) chuckled a little under his breath. "Oh, loosen up you old Major of the Confederate Army. You know that it was hilarious," I said, and Jasper laughed again. He immediately sobered up though as Emmett and Rosalie began to head to our table.

Lunch droned on, Emmett furious that he would have to wait to have his wrestling rematch with Jasper, who he had lost to last night, and Rosalie rubbing his arm and looking at him lovingly while at the same time managing to glare at me for setting her 'plans' back a few hours. I shuddered as I learned what she planned to do. Sometimes I really hated my power.

Alice was practically bouncing in her seat and holding Jasper's hand under the table. I sighed, upset once again that everybody in my family had a mate and I didn't, as Emmett had so blatantly pointed out only an hour ago. All my cheerfulness was gone, I was back to my usual self as I stared at the far corner of the cafeteria, trying to imagine patterns in the cracked plaster where there were none. It was only those occasional times where in class we saw something funny that broke the stupor High School brought over us. Having three medical degrees and having gone through high school so many times that I couldn't count the all the times I had been on two hands was starting to become monotonous. I temporarily forgot why I was excited about school today.

I directed my gaze from the corner to my family's faces, my eyes lingering on each members face until I reached Jasper. He was...suffering, no wonder he had not noticed my mood change. I knew he was thinking of the sandy-haired girl at the table closest to us as she stopped to talk to her friend. She shifted and tossed her hair, the scent of her bare throat floating over to our table. I could visibly see Jasper stiffen, his eyes starting to go black. I kicked his chair, causing it to screech a little as the legs rubbed against the floor. Jasper looked at me, and I mumbled so low that even Alice wouldn't be able to hear, "Are you okay?"

He looked down, shame clearly on his face. It would have been much easier for him to just admit that he was't ready for school still after all these years, but I knew the male ego well enough to know that he wouldn't even if his life depended on it. That line that was so carefully drawn between Jasper and myself, that line that was so frighteningly close to being broken, became apparent again as Jasper looked at me again, his eyes almost entirely black. As I explained before, the relationship between Jasper and myself was strained at best. I knew things that he hadn't even told Alice, and that bothered him.

Severely.

Intensely.

But there was nothing I could do about that. I couldn't control my power, it was just one of those things I was born with, like my brown hair or morose personality. It was something I couldn't avoid, and I knew that he knew that, but he was still upset about that. I suppressed a sigh. Jasper and I had issues, him his past, and I...well, my obvious youth. I was only fifteen when Carlisle changed me, actually, my birthday had been about two days before he bit me, and at fifteen, trust me, you have all those growing-up problems and you're confused about the world and what you want to do about all your problems. And since you're 'frozen' in your current mental state after your changed, I still had these problems. Physically, I was not two days over fifteen. Mentally, I was a strange mix between a young and confused kid and a grown woman. And if that wasn't mind bottling enough, my..._experiences_ after my change were...hard to deal with, for lack of a better word.

Jasper glanced at the girl again.

I kicked his leg this time, rather hard mind you, and he gave me a look of annoyance that could match mine with Mike Newton. I could almost hear him telling me, _Why can't I? Food is food, no matter where you get it from._ I glared at him and his face fell as he realized that I knew what he had wanted to say aloud.

"Do you want to get out of here, Jasper? We can go hunting for the rest of the day if you need to." That was another thing about me and Jasper in our strange and complicated relationship. We were hunting buddies. It was just the way it worked. He didn't want Alice to see him in his animalistic-state, and I didn't have anybody to come with me to keep me in check. I had the same problem with Alice that Jasper had, I felt like I had to live up to a standard if I went with her, and Rosalie and Emmett were out because Emmett was scatterbrained enough to forget and Rose wasn't interested in watching me. As for Carlisle and Esme, I felt uncomfortable hunting in front of her and even though Carlisle and I had come to an understanding, we still had a somewhat rocky relationship after all that had happened in the past. So the rest of the family all went with Carlisle or Esme. It's hard to explain. It was just the way things were.

Jasper shook his head. "I'm fine," he grumbled at me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, ducking my head so I could look him in the eye.

He nodded.

"We'll go after Hell—I mean school."

That brought a small smile to his face as he turned back to Alice. Jasper had never liked school, just like me. The whole idea of it really freaked him out, and I knew that the only reason he even went was because of Alice. I could hear her trying to tell him that he wouldn't have done anything to the girl anyways, even though both she and I knew that was not true. Jasper answered sharply and Alice stood, taking her lunch tray with her as she left. She knew that he'd had enough of her or anybody else's encouragement. Jasper soon left as well, probably to go head to class early. My mood turned sour again.

"That's the Cullen's." My head snapped up in the direction of the voice, and my eyes met a pair of stunning green ones. My breathing became heavy and Emmett and Rose looked at me, startled. They had never seen a reaction like this from me. They hadn't been around during those years. Those eyes...they looked like my own had once looked like, almost the same color. Like Mother's...

I doubled over, suddenly feeling sick.

But it was not Mother's eyes, they belonged to, but to a boy with strange bronze hair that also looked like Mother's. The new boy. And though he looked so similar to her, I knew that there was no one that was related to me that survived the Influenza epidemic. All my relative's had lived and died in Chicago that fateful year. I was in fact the last to die, if you could call it that. My parents and grandparents had no siblings that lived long enough to give birth to a heir, so no cousins or distant relatives. It was only a coincidence that this boy looked like my mother, sad but true.

It took me a moment to realize that it had not been this boy who spoke our name, but Mike Newton. He was giving the boy all the dirt on the Cullen Clan and our odd home situation. At least odd in a human's eyes. I turned in distaste, still feeling ill from the jolt to the past. Edward Swan, was the boy's name, I remembered. An odd name, old. From my time. I had heard Newton talking about him to Tyler whats-his-name during the remainder of Gym. He had been sent here from Phoenix, Arizona because of a new parental custody situation. I had stopped listening after that, and I stood to leave. I needed to spend some time in my car—alone. I'd have to kick Alice out of it, but who cares. My problems were more important at this moment, not her's.

"Who's the girl leaving?" I stopped dead in my tracks. The voice had come from Edward, it caressed my face, smooth as velvet. If I hadn't known that he was human I would have thought that it belonged to a vampire.

"Oh, that's Isabella Masen. But don't bother her. Apparently she doesn't think any of the men here are good enough for her. " I could hear the unsaid part that he tacked on in his head and just barely stopped himself from saying. _And she's mine._

That infuriated me, and I stomped out the cafeteria. I wasn't anyone's, least of all Micheal Newton's. I had more character in the nail of my little finger than he had in his entire body. The door started to shut behind me and I heard his velvet voice again. "She's...pretty."

_Okay, something you all should know:_

_Whenever Bella talks about how she _'could tell' _or _'knew'_ something, it means that she knows something because of her gift. Like she said, her gift is almost like seeing the future and mind reading combined. So when she says she knew things Jasper hadn't even told Alice, she means that she knew his past in great detail. But her gift has a down-side. A lot of times, she knows things that people either haven't told her or they don't want her to know and she hates how her gift allows her to know things that she doesn't even want to know. She views it as an invasion of privacy and there is no _'off'_ switch. Wouldn't that suck?_

_An interesting point was brought up by **skrappy1389**_

'I'm a little surprised that Bella doesn't use Cullen as her last name.'

_I bet a lot of you are wondering about this. So here's the answer. Hopefully it makes sense._

_Bella uses Masen as her last name because she is really attached to her mother, Elizabeth. I know I didn't really touch on that in the Prologue, but I'll try to emphasize that later on. She would use Cullen, only she, like Rosalie, wants to cling onto her human past as much as possible. Also, she is REALLY young. If you notice, Carlisle bit her two days after her birthday. Only she was not seventeen. She was fifteen. A very drastic difference if you ask me. So, she is mentally a lot younger than the Bella we all know and love from Twilight, and so it is because of this difference in age that Bella hangs onto Masen, because at barely fifteen, she was still Dependant on her parents, especially her mother. Plus, she loves them very much._

_Not that she doesn't love Carlisle and Esme, but it's like comparing your original family to your foster one, you will always love your biological parents in a different way than your foster ones, especially after all that Bella has been through. And you'll find out about that later on. Just be patient._

_I'm going to try and touch up on this subject a bit later on, so you all can understand fifteen year old vampire Bella a bit better._

_Thank you **skrappy1389** for bringing this up, I wouldn't have even thought about it if you hadn't mentioned it._

_Signed,_

_V.H._

_P.S. Don't forget to review and check out my poll!_


	5. I'm Not Afraid For Her

Chapter Four:

I'm Not Afraid For Her

Edward Anthony Swan

School was incredibly boring.

Getting to Forks High was easy enough though if there hadn't had a big sign telling me that it was indeed a school, I would never have guessed it was. It seemed to be comprised of several small brick buildings with paths connecting them all. I parked the truck and went into the building that said "Administration" to get my schedule from a woman named Ms. Cope. She was nice enough, but her staring was really starting to creep me out. I could practically hear her saying how nice she thought I looked. Then as I was leaving I caught her staring at my arse.

I was starting to wish again that I had never come to Forks.

So now I was sitting in Spanish next to this incredibly annoying girl...Janice? Something with a J...Jessica! That was her name. She was seriously worse than blond-haired Mike Newton who was in my English, though definitely not as bad as Lauren. God, she was in my Government and man, I could practically _hear_ her lust filled thoughts from across the classroom. It was disgusting, and I couldn't understand why all the girls were staring at me like I was a piece of meat. Back in Arizona, no girls ever gave me a second glance.

The bell for lunch rang and Jessica ambushed me before I could run out the door to take refuge in my truck. "So do you want to eat lunch with me, Edward," she asked, way to eager in my opinion. I was about to say no, but then Lauren popped up out of nowhere and pushed Jessica to the side while running a hand playfully through her hair, clearly in a way that she thought was sexy, though it just made me want to puke.

"So, Edward," she began, sending a glare Jessica's way when she thought I wasn't looking. "Let's go to the cafeteria." She hooked her arm through mine and then proceeded to drag me to the cafeteria with Jessica trailing behind us, an expression of pure anger and disappointment on her face.

Forks lunch area was rather small. Unlike back in Phoenix, all the grades had lunch at the same time because the school had so few students. I went to get my lunch, a slice of pizza and a can of soda, while Lauren and Jessica sat down, though Jessica would have followed me if Lauren hadn't yanked her down to sit in a chair next to her. Apparently Lauren thought food was over-rated. _That's where we differ Lauren,_ I thought bitterly._ I think going hungry is over-rated. Oh, and you._

I smirked to myself as I tried to sneak over to the only empty table in the cafeteria, all the way in the back. But Mike had different plans—he intercepted me before I had taken even two steps. "Hey Edward," he said, guiding me over to Lauren's table. "How's it going?" His intentions seemed innocent enough—to the naive. To one such as myself, who was good at reading people, he was definitely trying to use me, most likely to get some of the attention from Jessica and Lauren, both of which were staring at me as I sat down across from them with Mike in the empty seat next to me.

_Well you can have them Mike, I certainly don't want them._

Jessica started talking to Lauren at hyper-speed and some other people joined us at the table. There was Tyler, an athletic looking and somewhat dumb seeming boy, Ben Cheney who looked nice enough, a quiet girl named Angela, another boy named Connor, and an extremely tall black haired boy that was clearly the geek of the group. He was introduced as Eric Yorkie and I mumbled a "Hello" to him. It was clear to me, the outsider, that Mike and Tyler were use to getting all of the attention from the female population of Forks High. Out of the entire group, I think I liked only Ben and Angela, they both seemed amazingly polite, and I instantly liked them. I struck up a conversation with Ben about the latest action movie when I saw her.

She had just entered through the doors of the lunchroom and was walking gracefully over to the table in the back that I had tried to sit at, which was now occupied by a small pixie-like girl with short jet black hair and a tall blond man (you couldn't call him a boy, he looked like he should be in college, or even a teacher here). The girl who had walked in looked like a goddess, she had incredibly pale skin and long, mahogany colored hair. But it was her eyes that stunned me. They were the exact same dark gold as the pixie and the blond man's, and she sat on the blond's other side, smiling as the pixie-girl began speaking animatedly to her. All three laughed, and the sound was like chimes and bells. I was mesmerized and Ben noticed, though he didn't say anything as I took the three beautiful people in. Two more joined them, a strikingly beautiful blond that looked like the male blond's twin and a very large, wrestler man, at least six foot five in height.

They all looked a like, but at the same time completely different. They all had the paper-white skin that surpassed even the palest Forkian I had ever seen besides them and an almost inhuman beauty about them. They all had the exact same colored eyes and there was no color to their faces. Yet they all had very different features (except the two blonds, there was no way they weren't twins). And all of them, excluding the very beautiful brunette, looked old enough to be in college while the brown-haired girl (and the most beautiful at the table) looked barely old enough to be a freshman, a sophomore at most.

The Beauty looked over at the opposite corner of the room for a few minutes before she turned to the male blond and whispered something to him. A pit formed in my stomach as the thought that she was with _him_ occurred to me. But then I noticed the pixie and him holding hands under the table and suppressed a smile at the thought that the Beauty wasn't with him.

_What are you thinking Edward?!_ A voice yelled at me in my head._ There is no way she would want to be with you, a plain and boring boy. What are you thinking?_

The blond glared at her, looking like he wanted nothing more than to hit the Beauty. She glared back at him and he looked back down at the table. A small smile, barely detectable, came to his lips and he turned back to the pixie-girl who began running her hand up and down the blond's arm. She stood suddenly and left the cafeteria, carrying her full tray with her to the trash and then she walked out the door. Walked didn't even seem to cover how she moved. It was almost as if she was dancing. The blond boy followed her after a couple minuets, looking guilty.

"Who are they?" I asked Ben.

Ben started to open his mouth to tell me when Mike cut him off. "That's the Cullen's."

At the mention of the name, the brunette's head snapped up and our eyes met. It was like staring into the bottomless depths of a pool of butterscotch. I was drowning in them, and a look of panic crossed the Beauty's face. She suddenly doubled over, as if in pain. The two that were sitting across the table from her, the wrestler and the statuesque woman glanced at her in worry, but didn't move. _As if they knew they shouldn't get close._

The Beauty placed her head on the table and started to breath heavily. A spark of concern ignited in me as Mike continued.

"The two that just walked out are Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale. The other blond girl is Jasper's twin, Rosalie." I knew they were related. "The big guy is Emmett Cullen, Alice's cousin. They were all adopted by Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. They moved here about three years ago, just in time to start high school." I didn't miss that he had skipped the Beauty.

The beauty suddenly stood and started to leave. "Who's the girl leaving?" I whispered, watching as she gracefully glided to the exit. She seemed to stop in her tracks as I asked about her before she started walking again. She couldn't have possibly heard me, could she? She was half way across the cafeteria, there was no way.

"Oh, that's Isabella Masen." So the Beauty had a name, just as beautiful as her. "But don't bother her. Apparently she doesn't think any of the men here are good enough for her." Mike's voice had turned angry towards the end of his sentence, and I had a feeling that he had tried to ask her out, only to be turned down.

_That's because you're stupid Mike,_ my mind said before I could stop it. _Nobody in their right mind would want to go out with you._ Isabella left just as I was saying, "She's...pretty." Pretty didn't even begin to describe her, beautiful wasn't even good enough. Stunning was more like it. Isabella, Bella. Italian for Beautiful. It was very fitting in my opinion. She looked like a Bella. Isabella seemed to formal for her.

Mike was still talking. "Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper are all Senoirs, and Alice and Isabella are Juniors with us." That was a surprise. From Bella's obvious youth, that only I seemed to notice, it looked like she should be in tenth grade. "Emmett and Rosalie are together, and so are Alice and Jasper—"

"And they _all _live in the same house, even though they are, like, totally dating," Lauren interrupted, looking disgusted. "That's, like, incest."

"But their not related," I said. "So technically, it's not incest."

But Lauren wasn't listening. "God, they are all so disgusting. Isn't that gross, Edward?"

I was about ready to punch her, even though Renee had always taught me to be non-violent and to respect women. But Lauren had gone to far. I felt the urge to protect this family, more importantly Bella, from this hostile girl at all costs, even though I didn't even know them.

"I'll tell you what is disgusting, what you're face is going to look—" The bell signaling the end of lunch rang, drowning out the rest of my sentence as everybody stood, grabbing their bags and trays as they all filed out through the doors to go to their fifth period class. I had Biology next with Mr. Banner and so did Mike and Angela, so the three of us walked to class together in almost complete silence. Once we entered the classroom, I went up to the teacher's desk was and handed him the slip that Ms. Cope had given me to have signed by all my teachers. He pointed me to a desk in the back and I took a seat in one of the two empty stools, unloading the things I would need. I had started to think that the desk had always been empty when the door suddenly opened and a cool breeze blew into the room. A flustered looking Bella walked in.

"I'm really sorry Mr. Banner, I had to speak to one of my siblings and I completely lost track of time. I promise it won't happen again." God, her voice. It was like bells, beautiful just like her.

I shivered as I saw Mr. Banner smile and touch her shoulder. "Don't worry Isabella." I almost gagged and as she turned away from him I was sure she felt the same. I knew she was lying about why she was late as she started to walk to her seat, that smug and sexy grin on her face evidence enough. _Edward, stop,_ the voice told me and I mentally shook my head clear. And then I realized that she was coming towards me, where the only available seat was. My heart stuttered and then sped up. _She was going to be sitting next to **me.**_

Almost as if she had heard the jumps my heart had made, she smiled—no _beamed_—as she finally reached the seat and sat down. Someone to my right dropped a folder, sending a small wave of air in my direction.

It was like a chain-reaction.

The air fluttered past me and into Bella, who suddenly stopped grinning and stiffened, her nostrils flaring. Her eyes went from warm butterscotch to cold black in less than a second. Wait, her eyes changed colors?! No, I must be delusional now. Eyes don't change colors.

She scooted her chair as far away from me as the table would allow and grimaced, suddenly looking fierce, just like her brother Jasper had at lunch.

I was suddenly afraid, and this time not for her. But for myself.

_A lot of you guys didn't get why Bella only goes hunting with Jasper. It really has to do with her insecurity with herself, and what the others would think (she just doesn't want to admit it!). You see, because of Bella's past (which shall be explained) her control isn't that great. So when she goes out with the others, she feels sort of intimidated because, just like Jasper, she is a lot more 'vampire-y' than the rest of the Cullen's because she hasn't been with them as long as Edward in Twilight was (that's why she dealt with Mike the way she did). So even though her relationship with Jasper is a bit strained, they have a mutual understanding about their struggles with control. Bella's control is only a little better than Jasper's, and they just kind of clicked because they both have an awful track record when it comes to abstaining from humans. If it still doesn't make sense, just leave it in a review or PM me and I will try to explain it better._

_Here's an interesting question from **TwilightStarLaughter**:_

'But is he really clumsy? I think I remember him saying he was kinda awkward...but I dunno bout clumsy.'

_I honestly can't remember him saying that, but he's not really clumsy. At least not as much as Bella was. He might trip over his feet while staring at Bella, but that's about it._

_Human Edward is a little awkward. It's just the age. As a guy, he's going through with all those hormones and the growth spurts, and he simply doesn't really know what to do with himself and all his height._

_I AM SO HAPPY!!!! Detroit Red Wings (the Ice hockey team) is ahead by more than ten points! Go Red Wings! Make me proud!_

_Don't forget to review and look at my poll!_

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	6. The Southern Wars

Chapter Five:

The Southern Wars

Isabella Marie Masen

Stupid humans!

And their stupid love-affairs!

Everything about them was stupid, from their stupid ideas to their stupid notions.

They should all just leave me alone, but _no_, they just had to be in love with me.

Especially the stupid Mike Newton.

At least I had stopped swearing. Esme's face was to prominent in my head for me to say more than three swear words in a row.

I had literally _thrown_ Alice out of my car and then proceeded to lock the doors and close my eyes, trying my best to ignore her scathing look and the tongue she had been sticking out at me. I didn't really care at that moment, I needed space from the humans, it was too much for me to handle in my current state along with the mental breakdown that Edward Swan, son of Police Chief Charlie Swan, had induced.

All those years I had been gone really were the biggest mistake I had ever made. They reduced me down to a pitiful withered creature inside the tough, secure facade that I had so carefully placed around me. Not even Jasper knew the full extent of the damage I had suffered. Damaged goods, I mused. That's what I was, damaged goods. The type that no one knew about until they opened the packaging and realized _exactly_ what they had bought. I sighed sadly, wishing that I could cry, that the salty trails would fall, but of course they did not come. No, I was damned. Truly and utterly cursed because of what I had done. Even my eventual choice to take what I needed from animals could not atone for what I did. Nothing could ever forgive me for that, no matter how much remorse I felt for it now.

When I had been newly changed, only a few years after Carlisle changed Esme, I left Carlisle. I was fed up with him, the world, this life, everything. I was done, I couldn't take any more of this life I was forced to live. Back then, I still hated Carlisle, in my eyes I thought him a demon and he knew it and also knew he could do nothing for me. So I had packed up my things and left. For a while, I lived in my old house in Chicago, never going out. Then I met Maria.

She had ventured very far north, looking for someone called Jasper Whitlock. I didn't know that it was the same Jasper that later lived with Carlisle until I returned to him. She was intrigued by my ability and my story, sympathizing with me. I fell into the little pale-skinned girl's trap, hook, line, and sinker. This is what started a more than twenty year long rein of terror in the south.

Together, we kept the wars under the radar from the humans, so the Volturi never stepped in. In those twenty years, I killed more humans single-handedly than Jasper had in his little more than sixty years of human-drinking life. I, unlike Jasper, could not feel the emotions of those I killed, and had no remorse. Still mentally fifteen, I was angry that I had been forced into this life, and with Maria's encouragement, I became a killing machine. I particularly went after the humans that had eyes like my mother's.

I wasn't thinking straight back then, and Maria took advantage of it without me knowing until I had dug myself so deep into my hole that I had no chance of getting out. After I had realized what I had done to myself, I began to kill even more, sometimes four or five a night to try to numb the internal pain I was suffering. I went all over searching for my victims. Unknowingly, I used Jasper's method of finding humans and killing them without raising too much suspicion. I would go to two or three different cities and take two humans from each, one man and one woman, then set it up to look like they had eloped together. In this manor I killed for more than fifteen years.

I felt next to nothing or nothing at all over those years. But it was when I found a girl named Teresa that I finally felt the full horror of what I had done. Teresa was a young woman, only about twenty when I found her. I had been about to kill her too, when she woke up from her sleep.

And those eyes, those green, green eyes. They looked at me, and she understood. She understood what I was and why I was doing these horrible acts, and she smiled. I couldn't kill her then, I couldn't. She had accepted me, had known, and I immediately fled the house and ran. I left Maria without a word and spent two years searching for Carlisle. I had convinced myself that he would except me, no matter what, that if Teresa could except me, so could he. I had still been terrified though as I had walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. And when a large man over a foot taller than me answered, I whimpered and backed away. And then Carlisle was there. And I felt so much sadness as he gazed at me and saw my red eyes, a look of remorse upon his face as he simply stood aside for me to enter. Not a word was spoken, and it was then that I first met all the additions to Carlisle's family, the first time I had met Jasper, Maria's Jasper. Only this time, he was Alice's.

* * *

The late bell sounded, and I jumped out of the car, grabbing my book bag and sprinting at human speed to the class. It was a good thing I ran as fast as I did, because just as soon as I reach the classroom's overhang, it began to pour, the droplets of rain bouncing up and hitting the ends of my jeans. I rushed into the Biology classroom and all eyes turned to me as Mr. Banner stopped speaking about something or another that I had already learned at least ten times over. 

"I'm really sorry Mr. Banner, I had to speak to one of my siblings and I completely lost track of time. I promise it won't happen again," I said, making my voice sound sad and my face a look of remorse. I pouted my lips.

"Don't worry Isabella," Mr. Banner said, putting his hand on my arm. I had to repress a shiver and a gag. I pulled away from Mr. Banner, wanting to throw up from the fact that an old _man_ had just been flirting with me, his supposable _seventeen_ year old student. I grinned at the thought though that I actually wouldn't get in trouble and started to head over to my seat. Only there was a boy in the chair next to mine, a boy named Edward Swan. I smirked as I heard his heart stutter and then go at double the rate it had been going previously. I suddenly felt incredibly sad for the boy who was cursed to sit next to me in the only available seat. It was going to be a long semester for him, at least while he was in this class. Even Mike Newton knew not to sit next to me, seeing as his instincts were screaming at him to not get close, though his trivial mind could not understand.

Those green eyes widened as I sat down smiling at him. He really was attractive, even for a human, even by vampire standards. I could see why a significant portion of the female population of Forks High School was head over heals for him. He seemed nice enough. I wondered if he liked it here so far. _This is irrational Isabella,_ my head screamed. _He is human. Human! And you are his natural predator, he would be food._

I sighed mentally and laid my bag down on the floor. Someone nearby dropped a folder, sending a wave of air over him and into me.

I froze.

Even time seemed to stop as his scent wafted over me.

_KILL HIM!_

Oh my god, his scent, the most delicious thing ever. If I had known before now that it had existed, I would have searched the world for it, just to taste it. The monster roared inside of me, telling me to take his blood. I could feel my eyes blacken with thirst and I tensed up. I couldn't do it, end an innocent life...but then again I could. All I had to do was raise my hand and ask to go to the nurse. Mr. Banner would tell Edward to take me and then I would have him and his wonderful, crimson blood—

No, don't think like that Bella. He's young, you can't kill him.

My mind ignored the statement and began to make more plans for Edward Swan's demise. People would notice if Edward was last seen with me, I could reach over right now and snap his neck, then go along the left side and kill the students there, then move to the right side of the room. The left side would be lucky, they wouldn't see me coming, but the right side would and someone might whimper, but no screaming. It would take five seconds tops to kill them all, if I could snap three or four necks per second. Then all I would have to do would be to drink the blood I needed and then burn the building down. No one would notice that I had not been consumed in the blaze if I dumped some of the chemicals in the class over the bodies to fuel the fire. But so much collateral damage, I didn't have to kill so many, and while I was killing the witnesses, Edward's blood would be getting cold.

Certainly the only good option would be to ask to go to the nurse, have Edward come with me, and then kill him in the woods. Then I could set it up to look like he had driven me home and on the return trip gotten into an accident. His truck would be burned and he would have been assumed dead, his body burned to a cinder in the flames.

So I did the only thing I could do. I raised my hand.


	7. The Debates Between Right And Wrong

Chapter Six:

The Debates Between Right And Wrong

But Which Is Which?

Isabella Marie Masen

"Mr. Banner?"

His head shot up from where he was writing notes on the board. "Yes, Isabella?"

I made my eyes look big and pitiful. This would be easy. "I'm really not feeling well. May I please go to the nurse?"

Mr. Banner nodded and told Edward to go with me to make sure I got there alright.

They played right into my trap.

I smiled to myself as I led Edward out of the class and we walked to the office. All I had to do now was lead him in the wrong direction and into that little finger of forest the reached out to the parking lot. Then his delicious blood would be all mine. But I couldn't make up my mind yet, or Alice would see my decision and try to stop me from completing my mission.

_This is wrong,_ I thought. _What the monster controlling me is going is wrong._

We were almost to the office, and therefore forest, when he spoke. "I hope you feel better Bella. You look really pale."

It was that single statement that saved him. That one word he had spoken to me allowed me to break free and stop the monster in its tracks. He had called me Bella. Not Isabella, but Bella.

"W-what?" I stuttered. How could he know I liked to be called Bella? Only my family knew, everyone one of the humans always called me by my full name. How could he know that I preferred Bella?

"I said that I hope you feel better."

"No, after that. You called me Bella."

His face scrunched up adorably in confusion, and I felt a sudden pang that I had been about to kill him. "You don't want to be called Bella?"

Oh, what I wouldn't kill to know what he was thinking at that moment. "No, I do, but everybody you have talked to today called me Isabella. Only my family knows to call me Bella."

"Well, I guess you don't look like an Isabella. It just seems to formal for you. If you want me to call you that though, I will," he said hastily. He wanted me to be happy. He actually cared about me, and I had been about to slaughter him for his blood. I was a monster.

"No...no. Um, I think I can make it to the office from here Edward. You can go back to Biology." I wanted to cry again. I needed to get away, I needed to go hunting. I needed to have Jasper with me. he would know what to do.

"Are you sure?" he asked, a look of genuine concern filling his wonderful face. I forgot about his blood, I forgot that I was the ultimate predator. I forgot my own name.

"Yeah, just go."

I was starting to dig myself into a really deep hole. And yet somehow, I didn't really care.

And that was wrong.

_Alright, I posted a one-shot for when Bella comes home from Maria. It was just nagging at me in the back of my mind and wouldn't leave me alone. So If you want to check it out, it's from Jasper's point of view and is called _Coming Home: An Accompaniment to Black Light_. So please look at that and don't forget to review, you guys are really my inspiration._

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	8. Not Good At All

Chapter Seven:

Not Good At All

Jasper Whitlock Hale

I was currently sitting in my Advanced American History class learning about the Civil War. How useless, seeing as I was actually _in it_. But of course I couldn't tell the humans that, so I pretended to pay attention as the teacher lectured us on one of the many different battles.

"...it was Major Jasper Whitlock of the Confederate Army who helped convince Renshaw to give them a four-day truce to evacuate women, children, and aliens from Galveston, Texas."

My head snapped up at the mention of my name and a few of the humans snickered. It was at times like these that I was really glad that I had taken Hale for my last name and not Whitlock.

"Now class, please write down the notes I am going to tell you about Major Whitlock, spelled W-H-I-T-L-O-C-K, it will be on your test." The class groaned. "Whitlock joined the Confederate Army just before he was seventeen, a little younger than most of you are now, and pretended to be twenty-one in order to fight." Okay, the teacher had me there. It was beyond me how he had learned _that_ little piece of information. "He was stationed in Texas for the duration that he fought in the Civil War and was said to be a very charismatic man. Mr. Hale, why are you not taking notes?"

I jumped in my seat and turned from the window I had been staring out of to look at the teacher. Several of the human children snickered again. "Well, Mr. Bane, I already know this."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Well if you already know this, would you care to come up and teach the class?"

I groaned and stood up. Teach a class of humans about myself. Joy. "Fine. Major Whitlock helped with the efforts of many of the Confederate Battles and quickly advanced up the through the ranks. With in his first year in the service, he was the youngest major in Texas. He helped at Galveston to negotiate the evacuation of the women and children. He only served three years, and left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston. He disappeared on his way back to Galveston to fight and it is believed that he was attacked and killed, then buried in an unmarked grave. May I sit down now?"

Mr. Bane stared at me for a moment before nodding. It was clear to me that he had thought I was bluffing. Yeah, right, like I wouldn't know about the Civil War, much less myself. The idiot.

I was about to head back to my seat when Bella burst through the door.

Her brown hair was damp and plastered to her face as if she had been running and as she came into the room, all the males in the room directed their attention to her. I growled under my breath at the feelings of lust that were emanating off of them, towards my _sister_ no less.

Mr. Bane was the first to speak. "Miss Masen, what are you doing out of class?"

Bella didn't pay him any attention, instead she turned to me. "Jasper, we have a problem." The emotions coming off of her were frantic and I began to feel concerned.

"Miss Masen, I asked—"

"I know what you said," she snapped, and I noticed that her eyes were black. This was not good. "This is a family emergency, so please excuse Jasper from class today."

I looked at Mr. Bane. "I don't see a note," he said.

I could feel Bella's frustration rolling off in waves.

"Is it about Esme," I asked, in hope of trying to get Mr. Bane to let us go.

She gave me a meaningful look before saying, "Yes."

I turned back to the teacher. "Please, I really must go. Anyways, you already know that I know what you are teaching, so I won't be missing anything."

Finally he nodded again.

I snatched up my backpack and followed Bella out of the classroom. As soon as the door had shut, I asked, "What was that about Bella?"

"You were the only one I could think of, Jasper. I couldn't go to anyone else." She looked like she was about to cry, something I had never seen Bella do.

"What happened?"

"I was in Biology, Jasper, when I smelt Edward Swan's blood. I couldn't take it, it was the best thing I had ever smelled Jasper. And I—I was going to kill him!"

My eyes widened. She hadn't...she couldn't have. She had more control than I did, even though that amount of control was only a little more than I had. To me all the humans smelled the same, though I knew that was because I had fed for so long on them. Bella may have killed more people than I did, but her killing was selective, she actually went out looking for certain humans. So I knew that she could smell the differences in scent. "Bella..." I said warningly. "You didn't..."

"No, but Jasper, I was so close! I told Banner that I was sick and he had Edward go take me to the nurse! It was _so_ close. And then you know what he said to me? You know what he said? He hoped I felt better soon and he called me Bella! I couldn't do it Jasper, I couldn't do it..." she was rambling, and I pulled her to my chest, smoothing her hair.

"You didn't do it Bella, shh, you didn't do, and that's what matters most," I told her.

She broke away from me. "But you don't understand Jasper," she sobbed.

"What don't I understand?"

"I couldn't do it because he called me Bella. He actually cared about me; I could see it in his eyes. I'm a monster, I killed so many, and I think I'm in love with him!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. We were in the parking lot by now. Bella was sitting on the hood of her car, dry sobbing into her hands. "Bella, you can't tell the others," I said. She understood.

"I know, because they would want me to either kill him or change him, and I can't do either to him Jasper, I love him too much to hurt him!"

"Hush, Bella. We'll go hunting now, to clear your head. Leave your keys in the front seat, Alice will know. If they see you like this they will ask questions."

"O-okay, but I don't know what I'm going to do; I couldn't stay in that class for more than two minutes before I cracked. How am I going to protect him?"

Bella was shaking and still crying. "I don't know, Bella. I honestly don't know. But we'll figure it out, you'll see."

Bella quieted and nodded, and did what I told her to do. It would be hard to help her secret from the rest of the family, but Alice could help me. No doubt she already knew. We would figure something out. We had to, or else I knew that Rosalie would take matter into her own hands, and that would not be good.

Not good at all.

_Okay, chapter seven. I had a lot of fun writing Jasper in his history class. I thought it was so funny that he was learning about __**himself**__. But then again, that's just me. Please review; it is you guys that really inspire me to write._

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	9. I'll Just Find Out For Myself

Chapter Eight:

I'll Just Find Out Myself

Edward Anthony Swan

I walked back to Biology surrounded in confusing thoughts. In minute, Bella looks like she's about to kill me, the next she's sad and wants to be left alone. I know that's not what she said, but I could tell from her eyes that she was upset. I felt really bad for her. According to Mike, she wasn't related to the Cullens at all, unlike Rosalie and Jasper who were Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew, and Alice and Emmett who were Dr. Cullen's brother's children. Mike said she had arrived in the middle of ninth grade, the only explanation that she had just been adopted by the Cullens after a friend they had in Alaska that was her guardian died unexpectedly. Poor Bella, she had to deal with all the rumors that her arrival caused and then the revealing of what actually happened. The kids here at Forks were really judgmental.

Biology and then Gym passed by and soon it was time to go home. After I had turned in my slip to Ms. Cope, I walked out to my truck. Three of the five Cullens were at a shiny new Audi that was dark blue in color. It looked like something Bella might have driven, and I remembered seeing it as I came into the school's parking lot for the first time. Of the Cullens, only Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice were there and Alice held the keys to the car in her hand as Rosalie fumed about something I couldn't hear. I only spared a moment's glance toward them before I climbed into my truck and left the parking lot, though I could have sworn I saw Alice smile kindly at me. It was nice to know that at least one of the Cullens liked me. I didn't know about Bella, but definitely Alice.

* * *

Alice Cullen 

I stood quietly in the parking lot next Bella's car as Rosalie ranted. "Where are they?!" she growled. "Alice, if you don't tell me—"

_You'll what? Glare me to death?_ I thought bitterly, for once angry. Couldn't she understand that they went hunting? "Rose, they went hunting because Bella was having a tough time with all the blood. So what, they went with out us. Get in the car."

"You know something we don't, you little pixie," Rosalie said, pointing her finger in my face.

"I know a lot of things you don't know, like what Jasper looks like without any clothes on. Though frankly, that's none of your business." I saw Edward walking out to his old red truck and smiled at him as Rose got into the backseat of the Audi. He smiled hesitantly back at me, and turned out of the lot. I skipped to the driver's side of Bella's car and got in. I knew that she would be angry I was driving her _precious_ car, but she so owed me for keeping her little love-affair with the new boy from the family. Bella had problems with his blood, but she would get over them. And in my experience it was best not to bet against me.

* * *

Rosalie Lillian Hale 

God I hated Alice right now. She was keeping something from me, and I wanted to know. She knew why Bella and Jasper had left _during_ school instead of after it, and not that stupid reason of how Bella couldn't deal with someone's blood. Bella had the most control in our family besides Carlisle. She wouldn't lose it over blood, even if we hadn't gone hunting in almost two weeks. Emmett rubbed my shoulders and I saw that new boy with the bronze hair coming out to the parking lot. I couldn't remember his name, but I didn't really care anyway. It wasn't like he was going to be important. I threw Alice an angry glance and saw my reflection in the window of the car and smiled to myself as I saw how good I looked. That girl Lauren Mallory had nothing on me.

I climbed into the backseat and Emmett sat up front in the passenger's seat like usual. Alice was still outside doing God knows what and I leaned up to where Emmett was. "Don't you have detention today?"

"Coach Marek can wait another day. We had 'family emergencies.'"

"And what type of emergency did we have?" I whispered against his neck.

"Does it matter?" he asked against my lips before capturing them with his.

We were making out for a good few minutes before we were _rudely_ interrupted.

"You know that Bella doesn't like it when we do that in her car," Alice said as she turned on the ignition and backed out of the parking spot, going double the speed limit before we had even reached the exit.

"And Bella doesn't like it when you drive her car, so what?"

Alice sighed and bit back her retort. I smirked.

"What, does little Alice not have a comeback?" I asked.

"Rose, I swear, if you don't shut up right now, you're going to be walking home."

Damn, she knew that I hated running in the ran, that's why we usually went out hunting on those sunny days we couldn't go out in public, so I didn't have to get wet.

No one spoke as Alice pushed the car to the limit driving home. If she wouldn't tell me what was going on with Bella, then I would have to find out myself.

_Rosalie is so mean! And totally wrong about the strength of Bella's control. Anyways, please review!_

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	10. Gone and Then Back Again

Chapter Nine:

Gone and Then Back Again

Edward Anthony Swan

If I thought school was boring, I evidently didn't think about what being home alone with nothing to do was like. I had almost no homework, and finished what I did have real quickly. I would have tried to cook for Charlie, but my cooking skills were limited to oatmeal and salad. And I had a feeling that Charlie wouldn't want either one. So, instead I ordered pizza from the nearby Pizzeria and sat down to stare blankly at a TV show that wasn't even relatively interesting to me. But I watched it anyway, trying everything I could to get Bella Masen out of my head.

I should have known that it wouldn't work.

I wanted to help her, but there was no way I could do that without knowing what was wrong to begin with. And of course she wouldn't tell me, someone she just met. Her sister Alice seemed to know something that nobody else did, but I couldn't just go up to her and ask, "So, do you want to tell me why your sister hates me?" That would be just plain weird. I would have to talk to her at school tomorrow, if she was even there. She looked really sick at lunch, like she was about to throw up, though there was probably nothing in her stomach to throw up because she hadn't ate lunch.

That was another strange thing I noticed. Only three out of the five actually had trays with lunch on them, and while Alice had shredded her bagel into little tiny bits, Emmett and Rosalie hadn't even touched their food. I got the feeling that they didn't eat that often.

Eating might have done Bella some good, she was so pale. Sickly looking, almost.

* * *

When Charlie got home from the station, we ate the pizza together and watched a little bit of a college football game on TV before I announced that I was tired from school and wanted to get an early start in the morning. Really, I just wanted more time to think about Bella Masen.

That night, I didn't get much sleep. I couldn't, what with the fierce wind blowing against the house and the rain pounding on the roof. Charlie's faint snores echoed down the hall to me, only adding to the incessant noise. These were the reasons I could not sleep, or so I told myself. The truth of it (though I didn't want to admit that she was on my mind _that_ much) was that I was thinking about what Bella Masen might have been doing at that exact moment. At first, I imagined her studying in her room, then reading a book. Then I thought about her sleeping on a beautiful bed of satin, though of course nothing could compare to her perfection. I felt like Mike Newton in my fascination with her, the moonlight playing across the side of her beautiful face and neck as she slept.

And finally, as my alarm rang and I shut it off without a fight, I thought of her eyes opening, those wonderful topaz orbs, the light of dawn brightening her face and her pushing back the covers of her bed to get ready for another day. Why was I thinking like this? There was no way that Bella would even consider me like that, she was to perfect for someone as plain as me. And yet I found myself wondering as I stepped into the shower if she would be there at school today, and hoping that she would be there, at that table come lunch, and then right next to me in Biology.

I ate some of the leftover pizza for breakfast, not even bothering to heat it up. I wanted to get to school as soon as possible this morning, something that I never wanted to do, and never even considered doing, especially here in Forks. But I knew why I wanted to do this, wanted to go to school, eager for it. This thing or person rather, was named Isabella Masen.

As my truck rumbled into the student parking lot, filled with countless cars from the student body, most of older models like mine, I found myself automatically searching for the dark blue Audi that would signal the fact that one of the only people that I had met in Forks High that I had liked was here. I was disappointed when I found no Audis, but immediately brightened as I saw a _very_ ostentatious red M3 convertible across the parking lot from me. _That _looked like a car that the Cullen's would drive, even if not entirely ideal for the weather of Forks.

Class breezed by easily, and even Lauren and Jessica left me alone for the most part. Well, not entirely true, but it wasn't like yesterday at least. Lunch rolled around, and as I entered the room in which the entire Forks High collectively had lunch, my eyes scanned the lunchroom for any sign of her. I knew that if she was here today, she would be by now. I was late, and as my eyes found her table, I felt my heart plummet to the depths of the earth.

She. Was. Not. There.

In fact, they only people at that table were Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice.

For a fleeting moment, I thought that maybe Bella had been sick and stayed home, but that wouldn't explain why her brother Jasper was missing too. There was no feasible explanation for her absence, and if Jasper had gotten sick as well, why hadn't everyone else in the Cullen family?

My day suddenly darkened, how could I have expected _everything_ to be perfect? It was crazy to think that the female population of Forks would leave me alone _and_ Bella would be here. My luck wasn't that great.

And as if on queue, the moment I sat down at the table with Mike and Ben, Jessica began chattering away non-stop. This day just kept getting worse and worse. It wasn't soon enough that the final bell rang and I literally ran to my truck.

The Cullen's were already gone, and I drove home, already thinking about reheating the pizza from last night for dinner. To my surprise, Charlie's cruiser was already parked in the driveway when I got home, and I walked in, calling to him to tell him that I was back from school.

I found out that Charlie had taken half the day of so that he could get to know me better. I had to give him credit, he did try. After a few minutes of talk over the left-over pizza about sports, Charlie brought up my truck. "So, how do you like it?" he asked awkwardly. It was clear that he was worried I didn't like it.

I reassured him. "It runs great. The guy who worked on the engine did a wonderful job."

Charlie suddenly burst out laughing. "Ed, it wasn't a guy who did it—it was Billy's daughter Rebecca. You know, from the La Push Reservation?"

I vaguely remembered fishing trips over there with a guy two years older than me named Jacob and his twin sister Rachel. But Rebecca…Rebecca… "You mean the girl that always tagged along with Jake and Ray whenever they went somewhere?"

Charlie chuckled. "That would be her."

Rebecca was a year and a half younger than me, I had never really seen her—I had always hung out with Jake because back then I thought girls had cooties. Obviously I didn't think that now, okay fine, maybe a little. But it was Jessica and Lauren that made me think that.

"Wow, I mean, she did wonderful work on it. You'll have to have Billy tell her for me that the truck is great next time you see him."

"Well, Ed, you can tell her yourself next Tuesday. Billy's TV broke last week, and I told him that he could come over to watch the big game. Rebecca will be with him, he's in a wheelchair now, can't drive for himself anymore."

"Oh, okay," I said, surprised. I would get to meet her in person, after about five years. This should be interesting. "Um, dad," I said awkwardly. I wasn't use to calling him dad, "I think I'm going to head to bed early, I didn't sleep well last night. You know, school and all on my mind." It was a pitiful lie, but Charlie didn't question it.

"Don't worry, I'll clean up."

That night was subject to yet another night of thinking about Bella, though this time I dreamt of her. The exhaustion of not sleeping for thirty-six hours finally got to me, and around midnight, I fell asleep.

* * *

The next school day only led to more disappointment, as did the one after that. Bella and Jasper still hadn't come back, and the Cullen siblings were currently feeding the school some story about how they had gotten the flu, and Dr. Cullen had isolated them to make sure the rest of the family didn't get sick as well. I didn't believe it—if anything Bella should have been suffering iron-deficiency, not the flu. Or else every one of the Cullens would have been sick because they were in close proximity to her and Jasper before her 'symptoms' showed and I should have been getting sick as well, considering that I sat directly next to her in Biology, and she probably would have breathed on me. It just didn't make sense, though the rest of the idiotic kids here accepted it.

The weekend went by agonizingly slow, with nothing to do after I washed both mine and Charlie's clothes and the sheets. I then proceeded to vacuum the house and clean all of the appliances. It was very unlike me to do these things, but it was better than sitting around staring at the ceiling (which I had already memorized during my sleepless night after the first day of school).

Monday passed by with Bella and her brother still MIA and I seriously began to wonder if the Cullens had committed a double-homicide and were covering it up. But then Tuesday rolled around.

I knew something good was going to happen because my alarm clock was waging a war with me again. I know, funny how if the morning goes wrong, the rest of the day is okay. My twisted luck was just absolutely crazy. So as I removed the battery from it again (Charlie must be replacing the battery each morning before he left) I hummed to myself a jolly tune for once, not so gloomy despite the pouring rain. I ran out of cereal and the milk had gone bad overnight, and then I discovered a hole in the heel of my shoe. Yup, this day was going to be good (no sarcasm there).

I reached the school lot, the rain suddenly deciding to lighten as I stepped out of the tuck, almost not doing an once-over of the cars, not expecting the one I was searching for to be there. But then, BAM! Right before my eyes was a dark blue Audi, just two spaces down from my own red truck. I mentally cheered and pumped my fist. I could see a few people looking at me strangely, but I didn't care. BELLA was here, she was HERE! I smiled and had to restrain myself from skipping into class as my natural high continued through out first period and into second. Even Lauren, the most self-absorbed person on the _planet_ noticed my change in mood, though of course she didn't say anything. She had started to lay off the 'stalking of Edward Swan' and became interested in Tyler, who as ever was oblivious to her constant flirting with him.

Jessica on the other hand was a different matter. She was practically breathing down my neck in Spanish and followed me only inches behind me to lunch, chattering as usual. Lord, that girl could talk! And so fast that probably only another girl could have understood her. No wait—scratch that. Not _probably_, but _definitely_. Didn't she ever get the idea that maybe people didn't want to hear her talk? Apparently not, gossiping must have run through the family. I mean, Jessica's mom, Mrs. Stanly, _was_ the town gossip.

I managed to shake her off as I got into the lunch line. Lauren still had a hold on what Jessica ate at school, which was ridiculous, since both were as thin as twigs. If Renee had seen them, she would have tried to force feed them her macaroni, and trust me, that would _not_ have been pleasant for either of them. It was as I was paying for lunch that I finally saw Bella Masen for the third time in my life, though it felt like the first again. She was leaning against the back of her chair, looking particularly uninterested as she stared at the ceiling. Her beauty was indescribable, and I wished that I could get closer to look at her, but knew that I couldn't. At least not now. There seemed to be an invisible barrier between the Cullens and the rest of the world in this cafeteria. Something that separated _them_ from _us_. It was as if time froze inside the Cullen's little bubble, and nothing could penetrate it.

But that didn't matter now. All that did matter at that moment was that Bella was back.

I knew today would be a terrific day.

_Okay, it's finally up. Chapter Nine. Thank you for all the reviews! You guys are all so wonderful, and if it weren't for you guys this wouldn't even been close to finished! See, I stayed up to one in the morning to finish it._

_Don't forget to review and vote on my poll! I am going to be closing it probably on Monday, so you'll want to vote soon._

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	11. Let Go

_Oh my GOD! I could have died today in school. We got a new student, and guess what? Her name is ISABELLA! And she prefers to be called BELLA. And no, she hasn't read Twilight, or even heard of it for that matter. I seriously could have died.__She even looks somewhat similar to how I've pictured Bella in my head, only this Bella had tanned skin_

Chapter Ten:

Let Go

Isabella Marie Masen

Jasper and I had gone hunting up in northeastern Canada. We figured that was far enough to start building up my resistance. Anyway, it took a day and a half to get there. The thing I liked about going to northern Canada to hunt was the game. I mean, they were HUGE. Once there, we gorged ourselves on blood. By the end of our little trip, I thought that I would die (no pun intended) if I drank anymore. Jasper's face was flushed and his eyes incredibly bright from the amount of blood he had drank, and I couldn't imagine what I looked like, considering that I drank _way_ more than he did.

I knew that once we got back, the Cullen's would ask questions, especially Rosalie. That was the funny thing about my absence from the family. I had become distanced from them, not as much as Jasper, but still enough not to be able to call them family, like I had before I left. I had started know them again, but then I left to see the coven up in Denali for a few years, to try to perfect my control a little more. Of course it didn't work that well, and I knew that Rosalie and the others (all but Alice and Jasper) thought that my control was almost perfect. I had let them believe that—I didn't want them to judge me, as I knew Rosalie definitely would.

While we were in Canada, Jasper came up with a plan for me to follow. Since I was used to hunting every night when I drank human blood, and then in those two years it took to find Carlisle, he decided I should hunt every night or every other night at least. It would work—it would allow me to be around any human, no matter how tempting their blood was because I was so full. I knew that even with all the animal blood, I wouldn't be able to be around open blood at all, but I could be around Edward. And a plus to this strategy was that my skin would be flushed just like a normal human's would be, so Edward wouldn't be able to tell that I was anything less than human.

When Jasper thought that we were ready, we finally started our journey back to Forks. I couldn't deny the strange feeling in my chest. And neither could Jasper. I guess that was why he was helping me. It felt like I could walk on water, like I could do anything. My chest felt as if it was about to break, the emotion was so powerful. When we arrived home, I could do nothing but sit in my room, cheerful rock music playing in the background, just relishing in the sensation of my heart swelling within me until I thought it was going to burst. There was nothing like it, this feeling. Nothing on this earth could compare. It was simply indescribable.

I wanted nothing more than to see Edward. All I wanted to do was see him. Touch his face. I couldn't understand why I felt this for a human, but there was no way in heaven or hell that I could deny it. Glancing at the clock on the table, I saw I still had several hours before school. Before him.

I wished desperately that I could sleep this impatience away. That I could be human again. That I could be his age. That I had reached his age. Because that was my curse. I was trapped in my youth for all eternity. A hopeless feeling overcame the joyous one, smothered it, sniffing it out like a candle. I could never be with him. We were too different. Young, old. Boy, girl. Warm, cold. Human, vampire. I could not let him get near me. Get to know me. It was wrong, and I could not hurt him. I would protect him from myself.

Because sometimes when you love someone, the best thing for you to do is let them go.


	12. Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Eleven:

Dirty Little Secret

Isabella Marie Masen

When it came time for school, I was depressed again. As much as I wanted to see Edward again, I couldn't talk to him. It was wrong, and I couldn't bear to force myself into his life, only to have to leave in a few years. It wasn't right to do that to him. I knew that the moment I accepted him into my life, it would all be over and I wouldn't be able to let him go. So as I climbed into my Audi with my siblings, I resumed my disinterested façade toward the world and Alice and Jasper gave me a curious look. Most likely, Alice had seen a shift in the future, one that she apparently didn't like.

Whatever.

I could almost wish that I was human again, almost, but the reality was that if I was still human, I would either be dead or the luckiest one hundred and two year old around. But to be honest, I was selfish enough that I didn't want to give up the few precious days I'd had the fortune to spend with him. I would take what I could get, even if it wasn't much.

School was boring as ever, and Mike Newton wouldn't leave me alone in Gym. I had the vague urge to snap his neck, but resisted as I saw Emmett laughing as quietly as Emmett ever could in his corner of the Gym.

I seriously was about to kill Mike Newton if he didn't leave soon. Honestly, was he that thick as to not remember what happened last time in this very room? I was just debating how I would do it when, blessedly, the coach called for us to go change. I could see Emmett snickering again as he joined up with me. The humans around us left clear a five foot circle around each of us, which didn't make it hard for Emmett to reach me, well that and his enormous size. "Having anger management issues again, Bella? You should really consider therapy," he said with mock seriousness.

He just thought that he was _so_ funny, and I told him just that. He put his hand to his heart in mock hurt. He really was into mocking people. "Bella, how could you say such a thing to me? Have you no love for your own brother?"

"I'm starting to wonder why I ever came back from Denali in the first place," I told him. Before I had come here to Forks, I had spent a few more years in Alaska after the family moved. That was why I had come so late in the school year after deciding that my control wasn't going to be getting better anytime soon and that I might as well brave the Cullens and school again.

"Aw, Bella, I'm hurt." He burst out laughing, his booming chuckles drawing the attention of all the humans within a thirty-foot radius to us—which was practically all of them. I shoved Emmett and then proceeded to the locker room to change, his laughter echoing to me through the door.

I quickly changed out of my gym clothes, hoping to get done before the rest of the girls came into the locker room. I didn't feel in the mood to have to deal with their staring or their whispers as I changed, not to mention the smell of their blood, confined in the small dressing room.

But luck wasn't on my side as I was just finishing pulling on and zipping up my jeans when the first group of girls entered my row of lockers in the small room. They were giggling and conversing as they all started to open the doors of their lockers, glancing at me occasionally as I riffled through my locker looking for my shirt, which I had just tossed into the metal contraption at the beginning of the period, not caring where it went. Now I was wishing that I had noted where in the blasted locker it was so that I wouldn't have to undergo the torture of the little human children just a few yards from me.

Clad in only my bra and jeans, I turned, finally having found the offending shirt. That was when I heard the gasp. I tried to ignore the not-so-low whispers of the group of girls just a few feet away as they stared unashamedly at the side of my ribs where there was a nasty scar that stood out against my white skin in the horrid florescent lighting, illuminated for all to see. Never before had anyone noticed, seeing as I was usually completely dressed by the time this certain group of girls was here. Not even the Cullen's knew about this particular scar, though they knew all about the battle scars from those years.

I had gotten this precise scar years ago when I was still with Maria and had been attacked by a particularly vicious newborn from Monterrey while we were trying to fend off a group of vampires who were attempting to take the city by storm. His teeth had ripped through my side as he launched himself at me while I was preoccupied by another newborn. The experience had been extremely painful, something I wished to never have to go through again, and it had left a long, horrible scar long after it had healed.

Then a voice floated over the whispers to me, clearly meant for me to hear.

"Oh my God, like, where did she get that _disgusting_ scar from? It's, like, hideous."

I tried to pay no attention to the voice of Lauren Malory and her abuse of the English language as I put my arms at my sides, covering the scar that was positioned over the far left side of my ribs temporarily before I had to lift my arms to pull my red button-up shirt around and slide my arms into the long sleeves, doing up the buttons and covering up my torso.

"I mean, like, seriously, where did she get that scar from? I knew the Cullen's weren't perfect: Isabella Masen is just an example of that. No one can be perfect," she said in her annoy nasal voice, her hand raised with her manicured fingers splayed and nose pointed in the air.

I thought about how in the vampire world scars showed merit and skill, while I grabbed my bag and sat down on the bench to slip my feet into my small black converses. Lauren's voice continued to ring through the air, thoroughly annoying me as she kept speaking just to spite me.

"And _where_ did she, like, get those clothes from? A thrift shop?" All the girls surrounding her giggled as if Lauren had just said the funniest thing in the world. I mean, seriously, was she some sort of god whose word was law? It was ridiculous.

Lauren flipped her long, fake blonde hair over her shoulder, revealing the spaghetti strap of her tank-top as she finished straightening her mini-skirt. Her legs, as was the rest of her, was an almost disgusting shade of fake tan, something that could only be achieved through the tanning booth up in Port Angeles. Did the girl have a death wish? Surely she would die of skin cancer before the year 2010.

I stood, having finally tied my converses and slung my bag onto my back. I could care less what these children thought of me—if only they _really_ knew me. I grinned at the thought of Lauren Malory screaming and falling over her hooker heels as she tried to run away from my sharp teeth as I chased her.

Naw, Lauren wasn't worth killing if I'd have the taste of bulimic blood in my mouth for the next week or so. Nothing like bulimia to ruin a vamp's appetite, even if the vision in my mind _was_ highly entertaining.

Leaving the whispering girls behind, I felt a certain satisfaction as I knew the disappointment Lauren was going through at not being able to get a rise out of me. I mean, she had to resort to insulting my clothes, which Alice herself had bought from some store by the name of Impressions or Anthropology. Maybe it was H&M. But whatever, either way it was a very high-end store and Lauren knew that.

I was the last of the family to reach the cafeteria and I got in line next to Jasper, picking up a bottle of lemonade. We said nothing as Jasper paid for our prop lunches and we sat down at the circular table that we normally inhabited. Alice began to whisper to Jasper, both completely absorbed in their conversation, while Emmett put his arm around Rosalie and she leaned into him, not speaking.

It struck me then just how alone I was. Everyone in the Cullen family had a mate, someone to share their life and time with, but me. Up until now I was sure I had everything I needed. I had my books, and drawings, and music along with my half-family. But that was until I'd had my first conversation with Edward Swan.

Even I, the Ice Queen as Alice had once put it, couldn't deny the fact that I had an inexplicable attraction to Edward. Something in me wanted to be closer to him, to get to know him. It was all so new to me—I had never felt these kinds of emotions before—and to be honest, it scared me. Scared me so much that one simple human boy could have such an effect on me and have so much insight on what I was like. But then again, 

Edward didn't seem ordinary or simple. He was extraordinary and unique, between his bronze hair, green eyes and his amazing perception, and it astonished me that he didn't realize just how special he was.

That brought up yet another question: why did he look the way he did? The strange red-brown hair and emerald eyes were very characteristic of my mother, but I knew that there was no way he was related to her. She had no siblings and no aunts or uncles. After the change, I had put years into finding out if there was anyone who I was related to that was still alive, but everyone on both sides of the family was dead. The Masen line was truly gone. I put the thought aside—there was no point in puzzling over something that I clearly didn't have enough clues to solve.

I played with the bottle of lemonade Jasper had purchased, carefully peeling off the label on the side of the plastic bottle, not wanting to open it up and have to deal with the sour smell of the acidic drink. I clearly remembered liking lemonade very much as a human, it was surprising that that detail was so clear to me while the rest of my human life was mostly shadowed and blurred. But the drink no longer held its favor with me anymore as all human food was disgusting to me now as a vampire.

I was very aware of Edward when he walked into the cafeteria late with Jessica Stanly on his heels, her head bobbing up and down as she tried to keep pace with Edward's long strides. His eyes scanned the small, cramped room and then brightened up as he saw something. It was beyond me what he had seen to put him in such a good mood, but I didn't care. As long as Edward was happy, I was happy. Jasper sent me a warning look and I turned my body away from him and the rest of the Cullens so that I wouldn't have to look at them any longer. I could feel whatever I wanted and Jasper couldn't do anything about it unless he wanted me on his case later about manipulating my emotions.

Sensing my irritation towards him, he left me be as I stared absently at the wall of the cafeteria while I prepared myself to listen to the conversation Edward was going to have with his friends.

Unfortunately (for both me and Edward), Lauren decided to launch into the story of what she had seen in the locker room just minutes before. I wanted to wring her scrawny little over-tanned neck as she went on about how she knew I wasn't perfect and moved on to how "the Cullens are so, like, snobbish. They, like, think that they aren't, like, good enough for, like, Forks."

Her group of cronies mumbled their agreements, continuing to gossip about us and our current home situation. I noted curiously that Edward seemed to be almost on the verge of attacking her, his hands were clenched into fists under the table and his knuckles were bone white against his normal pallor.

I didn't react though, keeping my face perfectly disinterested. I, along with the rest of the Cullens, were used to the gossip about us, our living arrangement, and even our "parents" not being able to have children, almost like it was some sort of sin that Esme couldn't 

conceive. But I had not quite grown used to it, even at this point in time. But all I could do was sit still like I couldn't hear what they were saying and wish I could tell them that we were distant for their safety. Humans could be so infuriating sometimes.

Alice stood with her tray of food, looking like she was dancing as she went to throw it away. No one noticed as Lauren stood also, looking more gleeful than should have been legal, and walking towards the trash can with a can of open soda in her hand. She practically strutted over to where Alice was as she turned around and ran straight into Lauren.

We watched in undisguised horror as Lauren collided with Alice, spilling the full can of soda onto Alice's favorite designer _white_ blouse. The brown liquid drenched her front, staining the beautiful shirt hopelessly. Even Emmett knew that there was no way to get that stain out of the delicate blouse. At once we all stood, ready for a confrontation. No one, _no one,_ messed with Alice.The whole cafeteria had frozen, staring at Alice and Lauren, waiting for the seemingly inevitable fight.

But Alice shocked us all when she laughed.

We all let out a sigh of relief, glad that Alice hadn't officially lost it at the ruined shirt. We sat back down again as Lauren stared in shock at Alice also, having thought that she would cause a huge scene in front of the entire school about the shirt. She had obviously wanted to prove that the Cullens were too good for Forks like she had said earlier.

Whispers started up as the students slowly went back to their previous conversations. Alice's sing-song voice rang out to us through the din clear as day. "Oops, I guess I should watch where I'm going next time," she giggled, raising a hand to her mouth, the perfect epitome of someone who was feeling particularly bashful.

Lauren just gaped at her as Alice skipped over to our table and grabbed Jasper's hand to pull him out to the car to get the spare shirt she had in all of the vehicles that we owned. I tossed her the keys, still shocked at her reaction and feeling smug as Lauren slunk back to her table, looking disappointed.

"Should have known Alice was too much of a goody two-shoes to get angry," Lauren remarked, regaining her usual snobbish composer. I noticed that Edward still hadn't relaxed. It was clear that he really didn't want to be there. "Ugh, she is such a freak."

I hadn't noticed my anger had been slowly building that day, starting with Mike in Gym and then Lauren in the locker room, and finally with the stunt she had pulled with Alice. I knew Alice wasn't as calm about the whole ordeal as she seemed—inside she was seething about the loss of her favorite shirt at the hands of an evil bitch and planning her revenge. But for whatever reason I snapped as she called Alice a freak. Alice was the sweetest person I knew, and she did not deserve to be spoken of in such a way, especially behind her back.

The lemonade bottle exploded in my hand as my fingers wrapped tightly around it, puncturing the hard plastic like it was rice paper and sending the yellow substance all over the table. Rosalie shrieked at the unexpected showering of lemon juice, and Emmett immediately grabbed some napkins from his tray. He passed some to me from across the table and we mopped up the mess as quickly as was possible with the humans staring at us again. I heard someone mutter, "What a mess," but I ignored it, wiping up the last bits of lemonade and cleaning my hand of the juice that had covered it in the explosion. People turned away, going back to what they had been doing before and I dumped the soaked napkins on Emmett's tray. He was still watching me intently. Fortunately the lemonade hadn't gotten on any of us, but Rosalie was still muttering under her breath indignantly.

"What was that all about?" Emmett asked, too low and quick for the eves-dropping children to hear.

"Nothing," I muttered, turning away. "Nothing at all." I didn't feel like explaining myself to the big oaf at the moment.

My mind berated me for the scene I had caused. If even one person got the idea that we weren't quite as human as we pretended to be, we would have to leave and never come back. And the lemonade bottle exploding in my hand was not a good way to stay inconspicuous.

Why had I even blown up about what Lauren had said? It wasn't like I hadn't heard it all before—Alice and I were called freaks even in the vampire world—so it was nothing new. Even the gossip about our situation at home was normal, something to be expected. It hurt, sure, that people would gossip about us like that, but humans weren't exactly known for their humanity. It was beyond me though why they gossiped when the couples in our house weren't related at all (so there was no incest, no matter what Lauren was saying right now) and it wasn't like teenagers here at Forks High weren't having sex with each other—our couples just happened to live under the same roof. It was the same concept all around, but the children just didn't understand us and found any excuse to talk about us in a negative way.

We were the strange family that had only moved to Forks a few years ago to live in a small town where pretty much everyone had been born and raised here. We were beautiful and mysterious, never interacting with the rest of the population of Forks unless we had to. So of course we were usually the topic of gossip. They didn't know about us and subconsciously they feared us (even if _some_ people didn't pay any attention to that fear).

Maybe I was just tired of listening to all the children talk amongst themselves. Yes, that was it. And you couldn't find a nicer soul than Alice. She didn't deserve to be talked about like that by humans who didn't even know her.

I stood up, deciding to leave the cafeteria early to maybe just sit outside and get some fresh air before my plans to kill Lauren Malory with my bare hands got any more explicit.

Outside, the air was crisp and damp as I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes briefly and clearing my mind. My muscles automatically relaxed and I sighed. I hadn't realized how tightly wound I had been for the past few days, but it sure felt good to finally get rid of some of the tension inside me that had built up over the past few weeks.

I plopped myself as ungracefully as a vampire could at one of the concrete tables, laying my head down in my arms and closing my eyes.

So distracted within my own mind, every thought so clear to me as several things went through my mind at once, that I didn't hear the footsteps, didn't hear the breathing of lungs and the beating of a live heart until it was feet from me, and even then I would have paid it no mind if the human hadn't said something to me.

"Are you alright?"

The voice that spoke the words so deliberately was familiar. Smooth as velvet; melodic as any Beethoven composition.

Edward.

I lifted my face from where I had so readily nestled it in my arms, opening my eyes to the bright light that filtered through light grey clouds into the courtyard at the edge of Forks High. Trees ringed the courtyard on almost all sides, only a little opening at the far end where you could exit into the main school. It was out of the way and very inconvenient, so therefore was little known among the human students of the school. It was for this reason that I came here, to be alone and to think, away from predictable humans and their gossip. But somehow, Edward had found me, though I was sure that I had not been followed here.

His face was devastatingly handsome, his eyes bright and greener than ever, the emerald irises sparkling. His skin was almost glowing as he watched me turn to face him, his bronze hair disheveled as it always was. A small smile graced my lips before I quickly wiped it off, hoping that Edward had not seen. If I was to keep him safe from the threat I posed to him and the other humans that he cared for, I could not get close. I would not ruin his life by imposing myself upon it, his future happiness was far more important than mine, as he would someday wither and die, and I would live on forever with multiple opportunities to have happiness, even if I did not want it without Edward.

But what was I doing, thinking all this? It was neither my right nor my place to do such a thing.

Less than a second had passed—I was still turning my head to face Edward—and I glanced briefly at him, muttering his name to him disinterestedly in greeting and turning back to stare in front of me. From my peripheral vision, I saw Edward shift, confused by my actions, though he didn't say anything. After a moment of silent debate, he moved to sit down on the same side of the table as me, sitting down with some grace. He was only a few feet away from me on the cold stone, though I doubted that it was as cold as my skin.

The wind was blowing his scent at me—his wonderful, _sweet_ scent—and I made myself ignore it. I repeated over and over in my head that he was human, living, breathing, and had as much as a right—if not more—to life as I did. That he had a mother, and a father, and friends that would miss him if he died. I stopped my breathing, knowing that it would help some, but his unique smell still burned in my nostrils, tempting me. It was dangerous to have him this close, where there was no one to hear his screams if I killed him, no one to stop me from indulging the horned monster within. Where there was no collateral damage to take care of afterwards. It was as if Edward wanted to die at my hands, a horrible bloodsucking monster of a person—no, not even that, _thing_. He had walked willingly into the presence of a spider, a fat, juicy fly just ready for the taking.

Unbidden, I saw a vision in my mind of myself leaning over, tipping my head back. To him it would look as if I meant to kiss him, and maybe I would, just to give him a parting gift. Then I would tilt my head to the side and move my lips over to his neck, kissing the thin, beautiful skin at the hollow of his throat, the fragile piece of skin that didn't even protect the hot, pulsing blood beneath, blood that I could actually see moving through his body with my excellent vampire eyes. He would stiffen as my teeth grazed the skin there, his body releasing adrenaline into his system that would make his blood that much sweeter. And then I would bite him, my sharp white teeth piercing the skin there with ease, like a knife would butter, and he would let out a ragged gasp of pain.

I would encase him in my arms, and he would struggle uselessly against me, finally realizing what his brain had been trying to tell him all along. He would weaken, muttering to me what I was—_vampire_. It would be the last word to grace his lips before he died, and then I would release him as his heart gave its last stuttering beat before it died. I would rise, his body dropping to land limply over the stone bench, my eyes blood red and wild, his blood dripping from the corner of my mouth—

And then a picture of his broken, lifeless body entered my mind.

His skin pale white, drained of blood. His green eyes clouded and dull, never to sparkle with delight again. The blood that would have dripped down from his mauled neck onto his green t-shirt to stain it darkly. The broken bones he would have from my too strong grip, the bruises that would cover his arms and hands where he had banged them against my granite-hard skin in a feeble attempt to free himself. His body would be slumped and limp.

The overall sight was enough to jerk me out of my daydreams and away from Edward. I had leaned closer to him across the empty space between us and Edward had been watching me warily. I was sure that my eyes had gone black with thirst and I had a hungry expression upon my face. And though his blood was so tantalizingly alluring, the mere thought of him dead and looking like my imagination had portrayed him was enough to shut the monster in the recesses of my mind for good, though his scent was still so potent in my nostrils. As tempting as it is, I will not drink his blood, I vowed to myself. I will not become the thing I hated most again. I will not allow myself.

I wondered how long I had just been sitting there, staring at Edward, and turned away from him. Maybe if I didn't look at him, he would just disappear. But, of course, he didn't.

"Bella?" he asked, scooting a little closer. "Are you okay?"

His voice sounded edgy, a little scared, and I could smell the adrenaline coursing through his veins as I accidently took another breath.

"I'm fine," I said in a tight voice. I almost winced from the sound, the perfect melodic chime of my vocal chords disgusting me. I was the perfect trap: I looked good, sounded good, I even _smelled_ good. A death trap.

"Are you sure? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." And I had, I had seen the ghost of my former self, and it scared the hell out of me. I was young, even to other vampires, and I was relatively new to this life of 'vegetarianism.' It was frightening to think that I was that close to losing it.

I grimaced and turned my body to face his. He was much closer than I had thought—only a foot from me. His eyes bore genuine concern and his body language said that he wasn't as uneasy as he probably should be. "Maybe I have," I hedged, not wanting to tell him the entire truth. "Maybe I have seen a ghost and you scared it away." It wasn't _entirely_ a lie; put into context it was all completely true.

He smiled a dazzling crooked grin that made my mind go blank for a moment and laughed. "I doubt it," he joked, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I personally don't think I'm that scary, to tell you the truth."

Oh, how wrong he was. The image of him dead was still in my mind. Seeing him that way was scary, but I wouldn't tell him that.

But, really, are you okay? Because, I don't know…" he paused, thinking about something. "Back in the cafeteria, it seemed almost as if you could hear what Lauren said about you and your family."

I grimaced again, the blissful smile that I hadn't even realized was on my face disappearing. I had to hand it to Edward—he was much more observant than I had given him credit for. A fact that could be harmful to both me and my family if he found out about us. But he wouldn't, I would make sure of that. And even if he did somehow piece together everything (which was unlikely, because we were _far_ from your traditional vampire), I could just claim that I was the only one in my family, for there really was no reason for him to suspect them, right?

Deciding carefully on my answer, I said, pronouncing each word very carefully, "Lauren says a lot of things, the majority of them not being entirely true." I had not answered his question, hoping that it would distract him. It did.

"I hate her," he muttered, so low that had I been human, I would probably not have heard it. Then louder, "She spreads lies. She's just jealous of you—you could have any guy you wanted—and before you came here, she was probably one of the prettiest girls in school. Now, all the guys pine after you instead of her." I saw the shadow of a grin on his face and he rolled his eyes.

Just to mess with him, I asked, "And can she have you, or are you also trapped under my spell as well?"

He gaped, frozen, not knowing what to say. His quick tongue had been silenced, and that confirmed any thoughts that had been going through my head about any attraction Edward felt for me. He was interested in me, and that was a problem. Attraction meant interest, which meant that he paid more attention to me than he should. Carlisle's coven banked on the humans' lack of observation to go undiscovered. There had been a few times where we'd had to move because of an over-observant human. It meant that we had to start all over again in a new town, with a new identity. It meant that we would run out of places to go sooner. Carlisle's coven hadn't even been near the Olympic Peninsula in over seventy years. A few years after I had come back to Carlisle, we had even had to go to England because there was no place cloudy enough to go to on this continent where we wouldn't be near a place we had recently been.

If we had to move yet again Rosalie would complain and blame me, Emmett would take her side, Alice would be as neutral as ever and Jasper would sympathize though side with Alice. Esme would only be consumed with thoughts of where to go next, where did we have a house ready for us? And Carlisle wouldn't quite understand why I hadn't discouraged Edward earlier or told him that we had to move. And of course, I would try to divert Edward's attention elsewhere, but if he was persistent then I wouldn't be able to deny him much longer.

Edward was still silent, though he was so by choice. He just watched my troubled expression, and suddenly I felt that I should probably leave. I stood, muttering a weak excuse of having to go. My bag was in Mr. Banner's classroom already, and I started to turn away from Edward to climb over the bench. Suddenly his hand was on my wrist, wrapping around the thin joint easily and his voice was saying, "Please, don't go."

I stopped, despite my brain's frantic shouting that I should leave no matter what he said and the monster's snarling. If Edward wanted something, I would give it to him. If he asked me to kill myself, I probably would, as pathetic as that was. He had me wrapped around his little finger, though I was sure he didn't know it, which was good because I wasn't sure I'd be able to stay away if he asked me not to.

Automatically, I turned back to him, knowing full well that I could leave if I really wished to, and the look in Edward's eyes said that he knew that, too. I slowly sat back down after Edward tugged at my wrist, situating myself back on the hard stone. Edward's incredibly warm hand was still on my arm as I sat down. His warmth leeched into me, and I was sure his hand would be going numb soon if he didn't let go. Once I was situated, he seemed to realize that his hand was still on my arm and he pulled away, embarrassed by his actions. Blood flooded his cheeks and neck, turning his ears red. I smiled unconsciously and chuckled low in my throat. The breeze blew his scent into me again, and my mouth filled with venom that I hastily swallowed down, thinking hard about what Edward would look like dead. That was enough to keep the monster at bay.

Without thinking, I blurted, "Why are you so interested in me, Edward? You have no reason to be." It would have been my turn to blush if I could.

Edward smiled again, his brilliant green orbs sparkling. Was it even possible for a vampire to be dazzled by a human?

"Isabella Masen, to be honest, you intrigue me." I looked bashfully at the table. I was intriguing?

"Why is that?" I asked, still not looking at him, though I could feel his eyes gazing steadily at my face.

He took a moment to respond, a moment that was absolutely killing me with how long it was to my vampire mind. "I usually pride myself in being able to read people pretty well. But you, I can't get a grasp on you. There's something about you that is drawing me in, and I can't figure out what." I knew before he had even finished that he had said more than he had meant to. His voice had been deliberate at first, and then slowly gone to confusion and something else I didn't know, nor did I want to identify. It frightened me to know that I had such a hold on him without even meaning to.

He caught onto my discomfort and hastily backtracked. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to say so much. I'm sorry," he repeated.

I sighed, knowing I had to stop this now, even if I didn't want to. It was just unnatural. "Edward, I think you should stay away from me. I know your type, and I'm not it." _Wrong_, my mind hissed. _I am exactly your type. Exactly._ "It would just be better if you didn't talk to me." Okay, _ouch_. That was a kind of harsh. My eyes flickered to look at him in the corner of my eye, and I saw him wince. I knew then that if he hadn't realized before how attracted he was to me, he had now. I instantly felt bad.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, guilt pouring into my voice. I was thawing—the Ice Queen Façade wouldn't stand for much longer—and I wouldn't let anyone see me when I finally melted.

"No, no. You've made it perfectly clear that you weren't interested, it's my fault."

My heart broke inside. It wasn't his fault, not at all. It was all mine and I knew it. "No, Edward. No it's not your fault." I had turned to look at him, and his face was down, staring at his hands. He was the epitome of rejection. He looked up at the sound of my voice, his lovely eyes connecting with my own unnatural topaz ones. I realized exactly how much shorter I was than him then. "It's not that I'm not interested—not that at all." I was going on instinct now, not thinking things through like I usually did before I said them.

"Then why?" Edward asked, pleading with his eyes.

"I—I just—," I stopped, sighing. There was no other way around it. "I'm not good for you, as strongly as you might disagree. I won't lie to you—you are in danger of being killed, even as you sit here." I stopped the wince at my wording. That would only peak his interest.

"And why is that, Bella?" He was angry now, his voice rising and his eyes darkening dangerously. "Why? Come on—I really would like to know."

I closed my eyes, squinting them together and wishing I could just go back in time and say something else, but of course that would never happen. I would have to answer him. "I…if I told you the truth, you would never believe me," I promised, looking him in the eyes sincerely. 'Trust me, you wouldn't. You would run away screaming. If you trust me, you'll just leave the matter as is. If the Cullen's were to even find out that I had told you this much—it would be disaster. I'm sorry," I said, seeing the look of disappointment in his eyes, "but it is not my secret to tell. I am responsible for keeping the secret just that—a secret. I owe it to the others to do so. I cannot say anything more without their consent."

Edward nodded, accepting my explanation. I knew that I would have to tell him eventually—there was no other way around it—but hopefully that would be in the distant future. And though it would be incredibly selfish of me, I was thinking about telling him everything, and maybe—just maybe in my dreams—we could be together, and I could live with him as he grew older and eventually died. I dreamed that maybe he would accept me for what I was. That maybe he could learn to love me despite the monster inside this seemingly innocent body, but that was only a dream, and I knew the reality. That he would hate me, despise me for what I was and never want to see me again. And of course, if he really wanted that, I would leave; maybe go to the Volturi to be exterminated.

"Just, can you tell me one thing?" His velvet voice broke me from my reverie and I looked up at him. Hesitantly, I nodded. "Where you and Jasper really sick with the flu, or were you somewhere else and your family was just covering for you?" His tone was light, and I appreciated his attempt to push away the dark emotion that had hovered behind my words.

I smiled slightly, though it didn't reach my eyes. "No, we were not sick." _At least, not in your traditional sense, anyway_, I thought to myself. He just nodded, closing his eyes and turning his body away from me to face forward. He was just opening his mouth to say something else when the sharp warning bell rang, telling us that it was time to head to our next class. I smiled weakly and stood, Edward standing up as well. "Well, it was nice speaking to you, Edward," I said, excusing myself quickly from the table. "If you don't mind, I would rather that people not see us walking together. Rumors, you know," I grinned. "The Cullens would not be happy with that."

"Yes, of course," he said, watching me as I gracefully began to walk away. "Wait!" he called and I turned around. He was still standing where I had left him ten feet away. "Will you come tomorrow?" At my raised eyebrow, he explained," Will you come back here, and we can talk again? I'll ditch Jessica, I promise. She won't even realize I've left. Once she starts talking, she never shuts up," he joked. I smiled.

"Somehow, I believe that."

"So, will you?" he pressed, green eyes anxious.

Things seemed to be going so fast, and I could hardly keep up. One day, I wanted to drink his blood, the next I wanted to be his friend. It was confusing. I knew that it was wrong, that I should be telling him no, I couldn't be around him, but I didn't. Instead, I teased, "Why, Edward, I hardly even know you. Who knows what might happen if I am alone with you once again?" At his pointed expression, I caved. "Sure, I'll come. Jasper will cover for me." I smirked.

"I thought you didn't want your family to know."

"I don't, but Jasper is like a brother to me—he's my confidant. I know that he'll understand. The others…not so much. We mainly keep to ourselves."

"I feel so honored," Edward said with overdramatic sincerity, placing a hand over his heart to emphasize it.

I just rolled my eyes and walked away to Biology.

* * *

My last two classes went quickly, and I was careful to not look at Edward any more than I absolutely had too. It would be suspicious if I acted any differently than I had before. 

When class ended I speed out of the room, not glancing back no matter how much I wanted to. It was all so confusing that a human would be able to catch my attention like that, but somehow I couldn't classify Edward with the other children of Forks High. He was in that grey area, where nothing was definite and everything was confusing. I couldn't recognize this strange new emotion running through me, never before had I felt it, and to be perfectly honest, it terrified me—a vampire! A being that should never be frightened of such a trivial thing as an emotion, yet somehow I was.

By the time the last bell rang, I was already on my way to the parking lot. When I finally reached my car, after swimming through a sea of bodies, everyone was there and already in the car. Alice (to my immense displeasure) was in the driver's seat—I had forgotten that she still had my keys until now. I prayed silently to whatever god there was, as I climbed into the passenger's seat, that Alice wouldn't damage my beautiful Audi. We made it home within minutes, for Alice pushed my car to its limits, hitting the two-hundred marker before we had even reached the exit onto the street, causing several students to yell and honk their horns as she cut them off. By the time we had reached the freeway, my car was going almost three-hundred miles per an hour, thanks to the modifications Rosalie had made. Emmett whooped loudly in the back, and I heard Rosalie's hand connect sharply with his head. He grumbled about women who didn't know how to have fun and received another _whack!_ before he learned to shut up.

Alice pulled sharply into our driveway, fishtailing the car to a stop perfectly in its small spot in the garage once we reached it. I was still thanking whatever power that had been looking over my car when I got out, entering the house last because of my worship. Alice was already inside, watching a recording of the Tyra Banks Show.

"No, Tyra! Not the Gucci bags! Not the Gucci bags!" Alice wailed dramatically, hunched forward and looking as if she was in pain as she watched Tyra cut up an expensive looking handbag. I almost rolled my eyes. Almost. I quickly ascended the stairs, knowing that I had to hunt and entered my room, shutting the door behind me with a sharp bang.

I went into my closet, shedding my clothes quickly and tossing them into one corner. There was no way Alice would be okay with me ruining a perfectly good pair of jeans and a blouse while out hunting, even if she hardly ever let us wear the same clothes twice. Especially because I tended to be particularly messy while hunting. No, the older ripped and faded jeans and flannel shirt I had folded up in the far corner of my closet would be perfect, and Alice would be extremely happy I would be getting rid of them after my hunt.

As I was crossing my closet to get the hunting clothes, a flash of white caught my attention. I turned; ready to investigate the source of the flash, only to come face to face with the long, floor length mirror on the back of my closet door. The white skin and strange eyes only held my attention for a fraction of a second as I stared at the reflection in the mirror. Clad in only my black bra and matching panties, the mottled scars overlapping all over my arms, legs, stomach, neck, and face, grabbed my attention, as it would any vampire. They were what a vampire would first see while looking at me, and even with my small, petite frame and apparently innocent face, they screamed the word _dangerous_.

In a fight, it would be Jasper and I that would be targeted first, seen as the number one threat even with Emmett nearby. Battle scars meant a good fighter despite physical appearances, and Jasper would be the first one to be attacked, then I, because I had never dealt much with the newborns, while Jasper had and therefore had more of the bright, crescent shaped scars than I did.

I grimaced and the small girl in front of me copied the action, causing me to frown even more as it fully hit me that this girl was _me_. My frown only became even more pronounced as I stared at my face, the white scar on my left cheek pulling down with my mouth. I had never spent much time looking in mirrors for this very reason, the feeling of self-hatred pounding through me at the realization of what I was. The scars, the pale skin, the strange eyes, they all defined me for what I was, not who I was.

And I hated it.

I turned away in disgust, refusing to look at the mirror again as I pulled on my hunting clothes and pushed my way out of the closet to go downstairs and join with Jasper so we could go hunting together. Jasper picked up on my mood immediately and didn't say anything as we left the house to get sustenance to survive the next sunrise of the endless day that was our existence. Before we left though, Jasper had to hug and kiss Alice, a look so deep in his eyes that I had to turn away, uncomfortable. It was a private moment between lovers, almost, and it only succeeded in darkening my mood more.

We didn't go too far from the house, only up to the closest mountain range, and almost immediately I could smell all the scents that went with a forest: I could hear the sounds of trees rustling, the wildly beating hearts of animals as they cowered away from us, much more sensible than any human. The bitter scent of a deer reached me, only bitter because my body still preferred the scent of a human over the smell of an animal, knowing the impending disappointment of taste and sound in the experience. There were no games with animals like there were with humans, no thrilling trickery or mischief. Only the hunt and the brief, pointless battle between you and the animal as it struggled for its life.

But I didn't want a deer. I wanted a challenge, something to vent my anger out on. The bear a few miles to the east that smelled strongly of musk and warmth didn't hold my appeal either. I swiveled, turning to try going to the southeast to see if I could find something else. In less than a minute, I had gone several miles and found the trail of a mountain lion, usually one of my favorites, but this time the scent repelled me, and I caught yet another scent—a wolf's.

It was a lone wolf, and usually I didn't care too much for them, but I was in the mood for something to chase, and while bears and mountain lions turned to defend always, with a wolf it was fight or flight, and when it came to fighting vampires it was always flight. I would chase the wolf. I could hear Jasper coming up behind me, and knew he was thinking of the mountain lion as dinner. I slowed briefly to watch as Jasper came up, trying not to let my instincts take over completely as I smelled the wood scent of the wolf, sharp and fresh in my nose.

Jasper pulled up to me, slowing easily to a stop, breathing not at all heavy. His eyes were dark from the raging thirst that we both felt at the semi-appealing scents. They were all the same, and yet, so different and so much easier to recognize and separate than a human's.

I turned, leaving him as I sprinted off into the woods. Jasper went in a similar direction—the mountain lion was also close by.

And then, another scent crossed my path.

It was fresh, sweet, incredibly tantalizing. It smelled of wood and man and the softness of cotton. I could hear the blood pumping through the human's veins as he hiked not too far from where I was, maybe five miles away, at most. I felt my eyes go entirely black, not able to restrain myself from my instincts any longer. A thick haze of thirst veiled my mind, and all I could think of was the blinding scent of the human male, only about twenty-five or twenty-six. My throat clenched involuntarily and venom pooled in my mouth, coating my teeth with the slick liquid. I pictured the throbbing artery in his neck, and suddenly there was nothing but the scent of the human and me, and nothing was going to keep me from the being that promised to quench my burning throat.

I was sprinting toward the human very fast, aware of Jasper on my tail. I was faster than him, but he had a longer stride then me and was stronger as well. He was gaining, and my mind let out only one rational thought. Let my thirst win and die, or protect my supper and live with a tasty treat to boot?

The answer to me was almost too simple to come up with.

I wheeled around, crouching down into a fighting stance, ready to defend. Jasper was coming closer and closer, I could hear him as his soled-feet barely touched the ground—he practically flew towards me. Unbidden, a loud, ferocious sound roiled up my throat, a deep guttural growl sounding, a clear warning.

Jasper burst through the trees, coming to stop mere feet from me. He growled, eyes flat black, mouth lifting up at the corners in a fierce snarl. He shifted, still growling, to the side, sizing me up. I countered his movement, eyes trained on him.

The scars leapt out at me, warning me that he was experienced. Jasper was no longer Jasper, the friendly vampire; he the blond, enemy vampire that was between me and dinner.

He shifted again, to the other side this time. I followed, wary. In a flash, he was at my side, trying to attack the only way he really knew how, but I was quicker.

I jumped up, coming down behind him, whirling around only to be tackled as he did the same. I snarled, clawing at his skin as we slowly fell to the ground, trying to twist out of his grasp as I did so. His arms were wrapped securely around my middle from behind, and I fell hard onto my stomach, reaching back to try to grab his hair, but I couldn't reach. He had me in a spot that left me at a disadvantage, and he used that.

His hand wrapped firmly around my throat, squeezing. It was painful, his nails digging into my flesh and venom trickling down from the wounds. I struggled, trying to get away, but he tightened his grip on me. If I moved, I would lose my head.

The human's scent still penetrated all my senses, thick in the air, dominating my mind. I had to get to it, _had to_, and the only thing in my way was him. I shifted my leg, ignoring the pain in my neck, and then I flipped us over. The shock sent him tumbling, releasing his grip on me and I rolled away, only to launch myself at the still moving form of Jasper.

We grappled, neither of us gaining much ground on the other. Several times I went for Jasper's throat only to bury my teeth in the grass, spitting out the dirt in disgust while maneuvering so as not to be dismembered by him.

I turned my head, rolling with Jasper as he tried to bite me again. And suddenly, we were airborne, falling slowly off a steep drop-off, spinning in the air. I had snapped out of the blood-induced haze, but Jasper hadn't. His eyes were crazed and wide, my wrists gripped tightly in his hands. My back was facing the ground, his legs straddling me as he ducked in quickly, his teeth sinking into my neck.

I screamed, the pain of foreign venom entering my system too much to bear. My high pitched shrill died as we hit the ground, Jasper thrown off me from the impact. I moaned, grinding my teeth together against the wave of burning fire that was scorching me, intensified by my sensitive nerves.

Jasper stared at me in horror as he finally came to his senses and realized what he had done. In an instant he was on his feet, helping me up and touching the bite mark on my collarbone with gentle fingers. I winced, but didn't cry out. I had dealt with the pain of vampire venom before and wouldn't let it get to me now that I was in my right mind. It would only make Jasper feel even guiltier than he already did. "I—I'm so sorry," he said, pain and disbelief in his voice. He still couldn't believe that he had turned on his own family, and honestly, neither could I believe I had gone after Jasper's throat. We really were far gone; any of the other Cullens would have been able to keep their heads, but not us. The only reason that the human was still alive was that both Jasper and I had wanted to be selfish and not share our potential prey with anyone, not even each other.

"Don't worry Jasper," I said in a far away voice. "I was just as bad as you. It'll heal. Come on, let's go home."

As we ran back to the house, taking whatever animals crossed our path, I was distant. It was like I wasn't even there next to Jasper as we ran effortlessly through the forest, weaving through the trees. Everything was in extreme clarity, though I paid it no mind.

He waited until we were almost within hearing range of the house before speaking again to me.

"You know," he began, not looking at me, "the self-disgust never stops." His brows furrowed, the double crescent scar above his left eye emphasizing his expression. "It doesn't help either, though." It was silent for only a moment before he continued again. "I used to wonder why we even existed if we were such horrifying monsters only meant to gorge ourselves on blood." I winced, but he ignored it. "I still don't have the answer to that. But you know what I do know?" He stopped, turning to face me. I nervously avoided his eyes. "Is that we were put here for a purpose, even if that purpose evades us entirely. Maybe it is to attempt to better ourselves, maybe it is to learn to love completely and wholly, or maybe it was just an accident. I try not to dwell on it much, because I have Alice and that is really all that matters to me.

"But what is important is that _you_ not dwell on it too much. I know you've had a lot of time to think about it and you think that you have everything you could need and ever want right here. But I think we both know that that is not true. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to be happy, Bella."

I didn't say anything, not wanting to reply to his comment. He knew that I was only with this family because of my guilt from leaving Carlisle, just as he was really only bonded here by his love for Alice.

"I…I think of you like a sister, Bella. And like any brother, I want you to be happy with this life. So I will not stand around and watch as you ruin it for yourself. You have a chance to be happy, with the human Edward. He cares for you, that much I can tell while you also care about him. You need to take this opportunity, Bella, before it's lost."

I burst, forgetting my determination not to say anything, "But Jasper! He is human! I cannot bring him into this life, he deserves a loving _human_ wife and children and adoring grandchildren, all things that would be stripped from him if I did anything!"

Jasper shook his head and I immediately shut my mouth. "Bella, do you realize that maybe he won't find another to love? Sure, he might only care about you and like you now, but if you care about him, the Ice Queen," he joked, "then this is something special. No one, vampire or human alike, has ever caught your attention before."

"But Jasper," I murmured, suddenly quiet. "What if I kill him?"

Jasper looked ahead again. "I trust that you will not."

Maybe he was right. I pondered what he had just told me as we came into range of the house and leapt over the river, both of our jumps meant for efficiency, not style, as it was with most of the Cullens.

What if he was right? I mean, this was Jasper, after all. He was very insightful and good to go to for advice. I desperately wished I could talk to somebody else about this. Was I just attracted to him because of his blood, or was it really something more?

Alice and Rosalie, my sisters of sorts, would have been perfect to talk to this about, had Edward been a vampire. Of course, Alice already knew about everything, but Rosalie was the voice of reason when the two were together, so I probably wouldn't get very good advice from Alice without Rosalie present, but Rosalie hated humans with an unrivaled passion in this coven, and she would tell everyone about it, even if I wished her not too. She was too selfish and vain not to.

Plus, even though I was a girl, I had been changed at that age where having an older brother to talk to about boys would have been helpful. But Emmett was off bounds, because he was terrible at keeping secrets, especially from Rose. So I was stuck with Jasper for someone near my age, though he was physically over five years older, at twenty-one.

Esme wouldn't be good to talk to either. She didn't like keeping secrets, and this had to be kept between as few people as possible. Then something dawned on me. I had forgotten all about Carlisle.

Though my father figure, he was only physically two years older than Jasper. He might have some inkling of knowledge of what I was going through. He was compassionate and knew when it was best to stay silent. He would, overall, be a good choice if I was to talk to someone other than Jasper about it. And who better than Carlisle because he was in charge and knew what was best for the coven. If I was to allow myself to become involved with Edward, he would eventually find out about us. It was not my decision to make. It was, ultimately, Carlisle's. And in the natural order of things that was still imbedded in all of our minds, Carlisle's word was law because he created most of us and he was the oldest, automatically the leader because of senior rank.

As we reached the house, I decided that maybe, just maybe, I might let Carlisle in on my dirty little secret.

_Okay, okay, I know it's been FOREVER since I've updated. But, after a few death threats and kicks in the butt, I finally got over to my laptop and started typing._

_But hey, there is a Brightside to all of this._

_Because I took so long to update, I wrote __**19**__ pages in Microsoft Word—that's __**10,267 words**__, not including this author's note._

_So, please review so I can see if there really are still people out there who read this story. Plus, it's Bella's birthday today!_

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	13. The Accident

Chapter Twelve:

The Accident

Edward Anthony Swan

I watched her walk away, my eyes glued to her retreating form as her long, mahogany hair whished around her waist. She didn't look back, not once, and a part of me panged with hurt. Despite what she had said about me being in danger around her, I couldn't find it in myself to care about that. I knew I should—any self-respecting human being would care about dying. But I just felt so drawn to her, and I couldn't accept that she was a danger to me. She was too innocent, too wide-eyed, too beautiful for me to believe that. How could she harm anyone? How could someone be so perfect and be evil at the same time?

When Bella had left the cafeteria after her lemonade exploded, Lauren made yet another stupid remark and I left, because it was either that or she ended up with a broken nose. Renee had brought me up to respect women, not hit them.

I needed to cool down before next period, or else I might completely lose it in front of the whole Biology class and Bella. Oh god, _Bella._ Sweet, little, innocent Bella. How embarrassing that would have been. Beautiful, perfect Bella with her shapely body and red lips. After living with Renee for all my life, I knew when a girl wore makeup and when she didn't, and _trust me_ Isabella Masen was perfection. She didn't wear an ounce of makeup and probably never had in her entire life, she was that beautiful.

Beautiful, lovely Bella—who was right in front of me?

I stopped, stunned as I saw Bella sitting at one of the small concrete tables in the little clearing of trees by the school. I was shocked that she was here, I thought that nobody knew of this place, what with how isolated it was. But here she was, her head buried in her arms, her long silky hair pooling around her. I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of the shameful thoughts starting to fill it. Bella was innocent, I couldn't think of her in that way.

She looked sad and angry at the same time, even though I couldn't see her face. I had asked if she was alright and we had started talking. I had gotten some questions answered, but that had only caused more to spring up in response. Like, why was she dangerous? She was too small to be a threat to anyone.

Bella had left before I could ask anything else. The bell had saved her, ironically, but tomorrow, tomorrow we would talk. She had promised me, and I had a feeling that Bella didn't like going back on her promises.

Once she was out of sight, I began to slowly walk out of the clearing to Biology. By the time I had reemerged into the main school, she was lost in the sea of bobbing heads. The entire time I was walking, I was thinking of what _could _make her dangerous and what needed to stay a secret among the Cullen family. She had made it very clear that she did not consider herself a part of the Cullens. _"If the Cullens were to even find out that I had told you this much."_ She was a separate entity to them, not one of them. It might have had to do with the fact that the rest of them all had their own respective partners, or that she had not been with them when they moved here to Forks, but it was also clear in the way they acted towards her and her to them that as different as the Cullens were from the rest of us, Bella was also different from them. However, it wasn't just her, but Jasper as well. I had seen them together, talking, and there was something so raw about their behavior that they hid from _"the others."_

And the way she had looked at me during lunch while sitting on the bench, her eyes strangely black—so black that I couldn't see the pupil—and the oddest expression upon her lovely face. Hunger, lust, and disgust, as if she didn't like what was going through her head. The lust, it wasn't the type I was used to getting after arriving here, the drooling lust of a girl who wanted to sleep with me. No, it was almost as if…as if she wanted to _eat_ me.

But this was absurd; I had to have read her wrong, it had happened with her before. I thought she had wanted to murder me that first day in Biology, but of course I had been wrong. Though I knew there was something strange about her, something that set her apart from the others. Her eyes changed colors, she was so graceful, and inhumanly beautiful, but all this could be explained, right? Contact lens, ballet lessons, and being blessed with good genetics accounted for everything, and her icy skin could have been the product of the cold.

Maybe when she said dangerous, she didn't mean that it was _her_ that was dangerous. Maybe Dr. Cullen owed the Mafia, or they were in witness protection after seeing a gang murder someone. That made sense. It would explain a lot of things if they were in witness protection, like why they might have moved to a small, nondescript town in the northwest and what she meant by having to keep a secret for the whole family. Yes, that had to be it.

But as I was passing the cafeteria, something caught my eye in a recycling bin just outside the door of the large room. It was mostly empty except for a few soda bottles and a Gatorade bottle, but what really caught my eye was the destroyed lemonade bottle lying in the blue bin. I had been curious to begin with when I saw that it was a lemonade bottle that had exploded in Bella's hand, because it usually was soda that foamed and burst all over the place. Also, the lemonade provided by the school was horribly bitter, as I had learned the hard way. Only people new to Forks High bought the foul drink because it was like someone had poured pure lemon juice into the bottle without bothering to add sugar, so why would Bella, who had been coming to the school for over a year, buy it?

I had been too far away to see the damaged bottle in detail, but as I looked at my eyes widened. The plastic was warped and completely mangled, as if it had been punctured repeatedly and crushed. Seeing it now there was no way it could have exploded. It had four small holes all aligned next to each other on one side, and on the opposite side a slightly bigger hole higher up on the bottle than the others. Remembering Bella's small hands, I picked up the empty bottle to examine it closer. Bella's hand would have been an exact match to the holes, but how could she have done this? The plastic was heavy and thick, and Bella's hands were as perfect as ever, I had seen them myself when I had grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving just minutes before.

I knew my hopes were dashed that they were in witness protection the moment I saw the bottle. This here was proof that Bella was not normal, as much as I wished she could be, simply so that I could prove to her that it was safe for me to be around her.

I washed out the broken plastic in a nearby water fountain and stuffed it into my bag, knowing that when I did figure out what was different about Bella, I would need evidence to convince her that she couldn't hide from me anymore.

I just barely made it to Biology and slid into my seat before the bell rang. I knew that Bella didn't want anyone to know that we had talked to each other more than was strictly required, or that anything was different between us, but it still stung when she out-right ignored me, like I didn't exist.

The entire period Bella only glanced at me if she absolutely had too, and sat on the extreme edge of her stool at the far end of our table. Her fists were clenched like they had been the first day in Biology and she was very still, almost as if she wasn't breathing. The mystery that was Isabella Masen was continuing to become bigger and bigger as the hour passed.

Gym couldn't have gone by any slower, quite honestly. It was so slow that it even seemed time was going backwards. It was pure torture. All I wanted was to see Bella again, beautiful, lovely Bella in all her glory.

I shook myself out of those thoughts yet _again_. It wasn't right of me to think of her that way. I was positive that she, too, had some sort of interest in me for _some_ odd reason, but I didn't really care, as long as she _was_ interested in me.

When Coach Clapp said we could go change, I was the first into the boy's locker room and one of the first to the showers. I had it from a very reliable source (Mike Newton, the stalker) that Bella was in Spanish class. I couldn't say I was much better than Mike Newton, however, seeing as I had memorized her schedule as soon as Mike told me during lunch a few days before.

I rushed out of the locker room just as the bell rang and almost sprinted to my truck, lingering out in front of it so I could spot Bella one last time before I had to go home. I knew that my obsession with her was unhealthy at best, especially because she told me that being around her could get me killed. I just didn't care anymore, and I also knew that should bother me as well, yet it didn't.

I smiled to myself as I saw Bella walking out to her little blue Audi, chuckling quietly to myself as I saw her glance at Alice in the driver's seat and then look up at the sky, hands folded into the traditional prayer position. Obviously, Alice was not the best driver.

But then, before I could watch Bella climb into the passenger's seat of her car, something with very blonde hair and horrid tan skin invaded my vision. I averted my eyes from the sight of Lauren Mallory standing in _extremely_ high heels and a too-short miniskirt before me. I lifted my head to look over her at where Bella had just been and was disappointed to see that her dark blue car was already gone. I turned back to Lauren, beyond annoyed. "What do you want?" I snapped at her, my tone definitely not friendly.

Lauren gave a bad name to blondes all around. I mean, I knew she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but this was _ridiculous_. "Oh, but Eddie," she simpered in a voice she obviously found attractive, but it only made her unpleasant nasally voice even more unappealing. She practically plastered herself to my chest and in an attempt to escape I backed away from her, only to be followed and rammed into my own truck. She tried to touch my face, but I grabbed her scrawny wrist and pushed her away from me.

"Lauren, I'm not interested."

This didn't go over well with her. Her face turned purple with anger and shock, since she was one of the most desired girls at Forks High. I was too polite to say it to her face, but I knew _exactly_ why almost every boy in school wanted her, and it simply had to do with what was practically falling out of the top of her low-cut shirt. Make of that what you will, but I was disgusted.

I turned my back on her and climbed into my truck, not glancing at Lauren once as I backed out of the parking space, not caring if I jerked the steering wheel a little _too_ much, causing Lauren to jump back as a wave of water from a nearby puddle drenched her.

When I drove up to the house, I did a double take to make sure that I was at the right house because Charlie's cruiser and another car that I didn't recognize in the driveway. I parked the truck on the street in front of the house, my brow furrowing as I grabbed my backpack from its place on the seat next to me. Shutting the door of the truck, I walked up the porch and opened the door with the spare key.

I could hear the TV on in the living room and Charlie's voice along with another, very deep and gravely one that I didn't recognize. "Edward?" Charlie's voice called out. Who else would it be?

"Yeah," I answered anyway, kicking off my shoes and dragging my heavy bag in the direction of the kitchen so I could start my homework.

Charlie's voice stopped me again. "Hey Edward, come here for a sec, would you?"

I sighed silently to myself, dropping my back in the middle of the hallway and walking into the living room. Charlie was perched on the couch with a bottle of beer in hand, watching a game on the television set with another man who was about the same age as Charlie. He had dark russet skin and long black hair that was starting to go gray. As I took him in, I realized that he was in a wheelchair and looked oddly familiar. Charlie glanced away from the TV to look at me. "Edward, you remember Billy Black, right?"

It took me a moment to place the walking, dark-haired man from my memories of fishing with Charlie in La Push and project it onto the man sitting next to Charlie, but when I did I recognized him. "Yeah, Billy, hi," I said, still trying to adjust to the man before me.

Billy wheeled over and shook my hand, his eyes wide. "Wow, Edward. Last time I saw you, you were thirteen and about two feet shorter. Nice to see you again," he said as he let go of my hand. I smiled at him.

"It's been awhile," I nodded, distracted. I had Biology and Spanish homework to do, as well as Trig. Not to mention I was starving. Fortunately, Billy and Charlie turned back to the game, allowing me to escape to the hallway and grab my bag before going into the kitchen.

I dropped my bag on the floor next to the table, so intent on getting out leftover burgers from a few nights before that I didn't look around. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate properly until I got some food in my stomach.

The burgers were wrapped individually in saran wrap on a plate in the fridge, and reaching in I grabbed two and closed the door, turning around to the microwave. I froze up as I saw a girl who looked about fifteen sitting in one of the three chairs at the kitchen table. She had the same colored skin and hair as Billy, only her hair was a very dark and glossy black that flowed down to the middle of her back. Her cheekbones were very prominent and her face round. What really got me was that she was staring at me like I was an alien from outer space—in _my_ kitchen.

I looked at her wide, dark eyes with slight confusion and fear, edging away from her slowly until my back hit the counter. "Who are you?" I asked slowly, wondering how often break-ins happened with people home and awake in the house.

She just continued to stare at me, not moving from her seat at the table. I'm not entirely sure how long we just stared at each other before Charlie walked in, presumably to get another beer. He took one look at us before he stated to laugh. I finally looked away from the strange girl to glare at my dad. The two burgers were still clutched tightly in my right hand and I took a deep breath to stop myself from lunging at Charlie to strangle him. At last, he spoke.

"Edward, this is Rebecca, Billy's daughter."

Suddenly it rushed back to me exactly what day it was. "Oh," I mumbled, "Today is _Tuesday_." That explained why Billy and Rebecca were here, last week Charlie had mentioned they were coming over. Being around Bella really messed with my sense of time.

Charlie only laughed some more as he went to the refrigerator and took out another beer; his chuckles echoing back down the hall as he left.

I heard a small giggle over from where the girl—Rebecca—sat. I turned back to look at her. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't realize who you were. Things have been a little crazy lately." Understatement of the year, but at least it was partly true.

Rebecca stood up and walked over to where I was standing, smiling at me. She had beautiful skin and very white teeth that seemed to glow in contrast to her deeply tanned skin. It struck me just how tall she was as she reached me, a good four or five inches taller than Bella was.

"Don't worry about it. Gosh, it's been awhile, hasn't it?"

"That seems to be the general consensus," I said, smiling crookedly.

Rebecca reached over, grabbing the two cold burgers out of my hand and pulling a plate out of the cupboard as if she rooted through the kitchen all the time. "I'll cook these up for you," she said while unwrapping them and placing them on the plate. I tried to object, telling her that I could heat up a burger or two in the microwave without burning the house down, but she pushed me in the direction of the table. "Sit, I usually have to cook for Dad, so I can do it for you, too."

I felt my ears redden slightly for some reason and sat down at the table while pulling out my homework. We talked about cars for a bit while I ate, me complimenting her on the excellent job she did with the truck, and her brushing it off like it was no big deal. Which it really wasn't. I learned that she had just turned sixteen and in the grade below me at the high school on the La Push reservation. It was just her and Billy in the house now because Jacob was off in college and Rachel had married a Samoan surfer.

"Wow," I said, nodding, "A Samoan surfer."

Rebecca nodded. "Yup." We both burst out laughing, not able to keep it in any longer. "Only Rachel."

I nodded, feeling as if the last I had seen Rebecca wasn't five years ago. It was like we just clicked. After we had recovered from our laughing fit, Rebecca sighed and looked down at the homework she had been working on as we talked. "Ugh," she groaned, rubbing her temples. "Geometry is really kicking my butt."

I leaned over the table, curious as to what was causing her such trouble. "What doesn't make sense?" I asked, looking down at the messy scrawl of math problems on her paper.

She looked up at me. "All of it."

I chuckled and scooted over to her side of the table, using my eraser to scrub out the part of the problem where she went wrong. This stuff was easy for me, seeing as I had taken it last year.

"What are you doing?" Rebecca asked, curious of my intentions.

I gave her a look that asked if she was really that clueless. "I'm a junior," I prompted. She still was watching me blankly, so I elaborated. "I took this stuff last year."

Realization dawned across her face and I laughed again, tapping her nose with the end of my pencil. She blinked, pulling a face that made me laugh even harder. "Okay, okay," she said at last, interrupting my guffaws. "I get it, okay? So, Mr. Edward Swan, show me what you can do, and try not to mess it up too badly," she teased.

I pretended to look offended and turned back to the worksheet. "You see, what you need here is the Pythagorean Theorem. A-squared plus b-squared equals c-squared will be your best friend for the rest of high school."

By the time she and Billy left, it was dark outside and I had made a new friend, and one that I could actually relate to, unlike many of the shallow kids at Forks High. Rebecca invited me up to the rez to check out her latest project: a Rabbit that she was rebuilding. I told her that I'd try to get up this weekend to take a look at it.

Once they had left, I packed up my school bag and went to bed early, telling Charlie that I was tired. In reality, I just wanted to think of the enigma that was Bella. Don't get me wrong, Rebecca was nice, but we were simply friends. And Bella…well, I didn't know what Bella and me were, but it wasn't friends. Besides, she had nothing on Bella, who was the subject of my dreams once again.

The next morning, I felt strangely excited to see Bella again and to be able to talk to her. I was one of the first people at school, and at the end of Spanish I jumped out of my seat and sprinted out of the room, ditching Jessica and running out to the tables we had sat at yesterday in the secluded clearing.

Bella wasn't there, and I waited until the end of lunch for her to show up, but she never did. I was hoping that maybe she was unable to give the Cullens the slip during lunch, but that dream was crushed when she wasn't in Biology either.

Bella had said she would come, she had promised. But she wasn't here at school and neither was her car, instead a bright red convertible took the Cullens home, driven by one Rosalie Hale, with Bella nowhere in sight.

I was upset, and feeling a little rejected as I drove home. Had she skipped school just to avoid me?

Technically, she didn't have to keep her promise. To her, I was probably just another hormonal teenage boy who wanted to be more than 'just friends.' She was all I could think about, and I most definitely wanted to be more than _just friends_, though that was a possibility that would only come true in my imagination. It was impossible for Bella Masen to want anything more than friendship with a guy like me. She probably had some hotshot college boyfriend who played football and was insanely good looking, just like the rest of her adoptive family.

Days passed, and still she hadn't shown up. I wished to see her face so badly, knowing that my memories couldn't give her perfection justice. It felt so weird, to want to see someone so badly. I didn't even miss Renee—my own mother!—as much as I missed Bella. Granted, I had regular contact with Renee, but it still didn't change the reality of the situation. Within the span of a few days, Bella had magically become my entire world, something that only worried me slightly. It seemed like all the things that should worry me, didn't (like possibly being killed by Bella Masen) and all the things that shouldn't concern me in the slightest, did (like whether or not Bella Masen liked me as more than the boy who decided to talk to her and act somewhat human towards her).

She only came to me in my dreams, where she smiled beautifully at me, her pale skin glowing in the starless night. She floated above me, clad in a long, flowing white dress that was almost as pale as her skin. Her long, waist-length hair billowed around her, her eyes a beautiful topaz. She would reach out to me, beckoning me to take her hand, and just as I was about to touch her, she would disappear and I would wake up in a cold sweat. Sleep became addicting because I knew it was the only place I could see Bella.

* * *

Isabella Marie Masen

Jasper left me as we entered the house, too ashamed of his behavior during our hunt to look me in the eye. I myself was feeling ashamed as well, still disbelieving that I would attack Jasper—the closest thing I had to a big brother—over something as simple as a human.

I started to climb the staircase to the second floor, knowing that I would have to tell Carlisle all about my disregard for the rules. Yes, I would tell Carlisle, but not here, not at the house where there was a possibility that the others might hear. As a part of his coven, Carlisle had a right to know that I had involved myself with a human, and that the human knew there was something up. I didn't want to tell him. I knew that normal protocol for this type of infraction said that we would have to leave, and I did not want to do that.

However, as I reached the landing at the top of the stairs and went up to Carlisle's study, I realized he wasn't there, but at the hospital pulling another overnighter. It wasn't like it was such a horrible thing—it meant that I could put off the inevitable conversation where I would be ordered to leave Edward alone and we would move, again. I shuddered at the strangely painful thought, pushing it out of my mind.

We still had several hours before we had to go to school, and I was completely bored. Jasper had gone to his room with Alice and I didn't want to know what they were doing together now, and the same went for Rosalie and Emmett, though I had a _very_ clear idea of what they were doing, thanks to my power. I turned on my stereo and listened to the music that started pounding out of it as I stripped from my ruined hunting clothes, trying to block out the giggles and gasps coming from downstairs.

I lay down on the couch in my room, shutting my eyes and envisioning a quiet, peaceful forest where there was no one but me. It wasn't working, and I briefly entertained the idea of hanging out with Esme, before I remembered that she had left to a convention in Portland for home design and architecture. I was stuck here at the house with nothing to occupy my mind and two couples doing unspeakable acts on the second floor.

A particularly loud moan floated up to me through the walls and instantly I was up, pulling on a pair of discarded jeans that were strewn across the floor and grabbing a dark blue t-shirt. Not feeling in the particular mood to flee the house in my Audi, I grabbed my black leather jacket and yanked it on, then my socks and boots. I walked briskly to my desk and pulled out one of the drawers, grabbing one of the many sets of keys in the drawer and closing it. Within seconds, I was downstairs in the garage, grinning to myself as I walked to the back where the more rarely used vehicles were kept, braiding my long hair on the way to keep it out of my face as I drove.

My smile widened as I set my eyes upon my other baby. The motorcycle was shiny black in color and wasn't actually supposed to be available to the public yet, but I had connections.

I hit the button to open the garage and then straddled my bike, revving the engine loudly before I zoomed out of the garage at top speed, pressing the remote control that was attached to my bike to close the garage.

I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, only that I had to get out, get away from everything here in this blasted town. I didn't want to leave the Cullens, not after my betrayal of Carlisle because he didn't deserve that, but I did need some time to myself to think. As much as I didn't want to admit it, part of my leaving was about Edward and I purposefully went the long way around town so that I could avoid the temptation of Edward's house at the very center of Forks.

The highway leading out of Forks was a somewhat lonely drive. No cars usually came this way anyways, but since it was the middle of the night I was free to drive as fast as I pleased without having to worry about any of the consequences that my breach of law would usually entail. The wind whistled in my ears shrilly, my long braid blowing behind me, a few strands escaping my plated hair. I knew the braid would probably come out before I stopped my motorcycle—my hair never seemed to like being confined, just like me.

I pushed my bike as far as it would go, willing it to go even faster as it reached its limit, a grand total of 250 miles per an hour, thanks to Rosalie's modifications. While I drove, I thought about Edward and how happy I was that it was only drizzling.

I was so sure before that I should tell Carlisle, but now I was second guessing my previous decision. Something in me wanted to keep Edward a secret, a secret just for me, Edward, and Jasper (which also meant Alice, but they really meant little in the grand scheme of things). Edward was so alluring, so wonderful and perfect. He was the first human that I had ever taken interest in since my change—actually; he was the first _person_ (human or vampire) that I had ever shown any interest in listening to—_ever_. In general, any creature tended to bore me, much to my chagrin. It was embarrassing when I didn't even want to pay attention to my sire and also a bit shameful.

But why, out of anyone, would a measly _human_ cause me confusion, cause me interest, cause me _anything_? Ugh, if Edward was just a vampire, this would all be so simple, there would be no issues with his blood, or breaking him, or what the rest of the Cullens and the human children thought. But no, Edward wasn't a vampire and I would not be changing that to make things easier for me. It was hard for me to remember that if he found out about what I was, he would react like any other human child, because he was one. He seemed so mature, beyond his age group and even some vampires I knew that were older than me.

I glanced up from the road, not even realizing that I had slowed down to avoid an accident because I was driving in city streets. I had reached Seattle, judging by the streets signs that whizzed past, suddenly figuring out that this had been my destination all along, but why?

Eventually, I stopped my bike, parking on the street across from a café that was still open, despite the late hour. It looked like a quaint little place with tables placed under an awning outside and a few tables inside. The outside tables were ringed by a little iron gate and the store front was entirely made of glass, which reminded me vaguely of the house that the Cullen's owned—a home away from home.

I went inside, leaving my messy braid in and pushing back the wet strands of hair that had escaped it. At the counter I ordered a latte from the old man at the register and paid with the crumbled wad of bills I had found in the pocket of the jeans. After he gave it to me I went to sit outside at the table farthest from the door, grabbing a magazine from one of the racks in the café so I'd have an excuse to not drink the coffee.

I pulled out the wrought iron chair and sat down while placing my coffee down on the table and flipping open my magazine, pretending to read it while I thought about Edward and our relationship. Did we even have a relationship? We had talked, and I had promised to come to talk to him again tomorrow, so that meant we did, right?

I continued to contemplate what exactly was going on between Edward and I, glad that I had left my cell phone at the Cullens' house, not wanting to deal with the vibrating contraption and the phone calls that I would undoubtedly have been receiving had I brought it with me.

The drizzle out on the open road had subsided for the most part when I had sat down at the table, but it had started up again at some point. The rain whipped lightly against my back, and I didn't really care as my hair started to become soaked with rainwater.

Vaguely, I was aware of two humans, a mother and a daughter by the looks of it, as they passed through the iron gate of the café, the mother rushing her little girl out of the rain and into the coffee shop. I watched them over my magazine, taking in the little girl's appearance.

She looked very similar in build and coloring to her mother. She was very pale and had beautiful auburn hair that fell in ringlets around her face. Two perfect circles of red were on her cheeks, her green eyes taking in her surroundings with the usual curiosity that plagued five year olds.

"Mommy?" Her voice was audible to me through the glass because of my vampire hearing. It washed over me in sweet waves, calming for some reason. "Mommy, I'm tired," the little girl said while tugging on her mother's sleeve.

"I know Nessie," her mother said, smiling sadly at her. "I know, but we've got to keep going. A few more hours, and you'll be in a warm bed." Images flashed through my mind as Nessie's mother, Alison, thought of why they were up at such an early time. I didn't want to see the images of things that I knew because of my power, but they still came. A man with brown hair and the same green eyes as Nessie attacking Alison, beating her every night before passing out on the living room couch. All the reasons behind the injuries that caused the woman to wear dark sunglasses and a massive amount of concealer over the planes of her face flashed before my eyes.

I grimaced, looking away from the pair at trying in vain to focus on the magazine again. Humans were despicable, treating each other like trash every day, as if they all didn't bleed when they were injured, as if they all didn't feel emotions.

"Hi."

I jumped, startled at the sound of the girl's sweet voice. I was sure that I moved to look at her faster than a normal human would move, but she didn't seem to notice. I stared at her blankly, wondering why she was still standing there and not backing away like humans usually did. Young humans (by human standards at least, because they were all young compared to me) in particular were more keen to realizing that there was something wrong with us vampires than their elders, so it was rather shocking to me that the little girl, Nessie, was standing within a foot from me.

"I'm Nessie. You're pretty, what's your name?" She blinked innocently at me, knocking me out of my confusion for the moment.

"Um, thank you," I said, still slightly unsure. I glanced up to where I last saw her mother in the shop. Alison was mixing milk into her coffee in a choppy, sleep-deprived manor, not having noticed that her daughter was no longer with her.

Nessie was still smiling at me, looking tired, but happy all the same. It took me a moment to notice that it had stopped raining. "You're all wet, aren't you cold?" she asked, looking me over.

"Oh, no, Nessie," I said, smiling at her in response. I couldn't find it in myself to push her away, there was something about her that drew me in. "I'm Bella."

"That's a pretty name," Nessie said, the smile still in place. "Are you a model like the ones in Mommy's magazine?"

I chuckled softly. "No, no, sweetie. I'm still in high school." My mood darkened at the thought that I always would be in high school, unchanging while this darling little girl would get to grow up into a beautiful woman, get married, have kids, and grow old as she watched her children have children. Eventually she would die a little old woman, while if I would still be the same. A flash of jealousy went through me before I stopped it in its tracks. Nessie couldn't help that she was human, no more than I could help that I was a vampire. Life simply didn't let you choose.

"Oh. I'm five. What's high school like? Is it fun?"

I smiled down at the girl, still pushing at the bitterness in my mind. "It's repetitive." Nessie nodded, looking thoughtful. I saw her mother looking around in worry, panic starting to flood her features as she realized that Nessie was no longer with her. "I think your mother is looking for you," I told Nessie as Alison rushed to the door, coffee cup clutched in her hand in a death grip.

Nessie turned around just as Alison burst out of the café's door. "Nessie!" she cried as her eyes set upon the little girl. Alison crossed the space between them in two leaps, the coffee still gripped in her hand and miraculously still intact. "Don't wander away from me again! You had me so worried."

"I'm sorry Mommy. I was just talking with Bella. She's nice."

Alison looked up at me, noticing my presence for the first time. She didn't tense up like other humans would at being so close to me, only smiling at me. "Thanks for keeping track of Nessie. She has a mind of her own sometimes." I nodded, holding very still as the wind changed direction and blew the scent of their blood towards me. It was nothing close to Edward's appetizing smell, but it was still good. I swallowed the venom that had begun pooling in my mouth and reminded myself to blink.

Then they were gone, moving away from me in the direction of an old Toyota. I sighed softly, breathing in the smell of Seattle. I tried to relax as Alison and Nessie climbed into the car, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something bad was about to happen to them. I knew it with all the certainty that my gift allowed, and was upset by it. The future was fuzzier to me than it was to Alice, as I couldn't actually _see _it. To me, the future was only very strong gut-feelings.

The Toyota started, pulling out onto the street. Before I could stop myself I was standing, throwing away the magazine and the latte in a nearby trash can and jumping onto my motorcycle to follow them. I felt a strange connection to them. Maybe it was Nessie's green eyes and red hair, so eerily similar to Edward and my mother. Maybe it was something else entirely. All I knew was that I had to follow them to try to stop whatever bad thing was about to happen to them.

I felt like a stalker as I followed them at a distance, the streets not yet filled with the usual morning traffic. The city was still asleep, the street lamps and the flashing neon signs of stores beginning to open the only signals of life in the city.

I sighed quietly to myself, not sure what I was looking for. Was the husband going to come after them? Were they going to be attacked by a murderer when they reached their destination?

A horn blared, lights flashed, and I swerved my motorcycle, eyes wide. A semi-truck barreled around a corner, sliding on a patch of black ice. I could see in the dim light as the driver tried to turn the wheel, a silent yell on his lips. Nessie screamed—her voice high and shrill as the semi collided with the side of the Toyota.

There was nothing I could do as I watched the semi demolish the driver's side of the Toyota, my keen hearing picking up the sound of air bags deploying and the snaps of bones. The semi driver's head hit the truck's steering wheel violently, and I didn't know if he was dead or alive. I was frozen in shock, perched upon my motorcycle as the vehicles stopped sliding across the pavement, everything coming to a stop with a groan of metal.

And that was when I smelled it. The blood.

I couldn't stop myself, my body moving of its own accord in the direction of the Toyota where I could smell Alison's lifeless corpse and hear Nessie's still beating heart.

I was prying open the back door of the Toyota before I could understand what I was doing. The monster was screaming for blood, my throat burning with desire as Nessie's blood was pumped out of her body, its scent coming towards me in a wave as I broke the car door and tossed it across the street. I didn't care if there was someone watching as I stooped down and climbed into the car, intent on getting what I wanted. Yes, the monster and I were the same now; we both thirsted for the thing that had been denied us for so many decades: human blood.

It happened in a blur—I was hovering over Nessie's nearly unconscious form, ripping the flimsy pieces of seatbelt that had kept her strapped to her car seat during the accident. She was in my arms before she could register it, shivering as she felt the sudden icy cold of my hands pushing away her bloodied hair and tilting her head to the side.

She groaned as my tongue found the small trail of blood that was trickling down her cheek. The taste rolled over me, the blood so sweet upon my tongue. My vision and mind were hazy, the taste of that wondrous blood the only thing in my thoughts. I had to have it, had to have it all.

My teeth were at her neck then, sinking through the delicate layers of flesh that so teasingly concealed her jugular from me before. Her blood filled my mouth, soothing my throat like it was water and I had been stranded in a desert for years. She moaned as I took another mouthful of the sweet red elixir, and then another and another.

Weak hands were pushing at my stone shoulders, pulling at my hair and ripping at my clothes, all in an attempt to stop me. I wouldn't stop until I had every last drop though, I would lap it up from the leather upholstery if I had to. It was mine, _mine_.

Nessie's cries of pain reached my through the blood-induced haze, my venom burning her veins.

I jerked away, gasping as she cried for her mother, a mother that would never come. "Mommy!" she cried, her green eyes fixed on me, her pain visible through them. "Mommy!" she sobbed. I froze where I was, memories of me crying for my own mother during the change resurfacing. I couldn't kill her, I couldn't drink her dry. But the monster was saying something else entirely, Maria's encouraging face swimming before my eyes, the memory painfully clear.

"_Come on, Bella," Maria urged me, smiling. Before us stood a young human girl, shaking and cowering away from us. She was terrified, knowing that very soon she was going to die in the forest that we had spirited her away to in the middle of the night. It had just so happened that she had been part of the territory we had gained from another, rival vampire. I couldn't really bring myself to care about her. She was food, it was that simple._

_Her haunting green eyes stared out at me, a pale reflection of what my mother's and my own used to look like. Her long brown hair was knotted and falling out of the pins that were keeping it against her head. She looked very similar to me, if you looked hard enough. I smiled, lunging at her and burying my teeth in her neck._

_The blood pulsed into my mouth and she struggled against me, yelling, though no one could hear her screams._

_It was during this feeding I realized that, metaphorically, I was trying to kill myself and the monster I had become by using surrogates._

I couldn't kill this child. Nessie had so much ahead of her, such a bright future. I hesitantly touched her, hoping to pull her out of the wreck of twisted metal around us. I had sucked all the venom out of her in my quest to drink her blood, at worst all she would have would be a small, crescent shaped scar on her neck.

I didn't have my strength under control though, a cry escaping my lips as my hands, trying to lift her body up to hold against mine, crushed her.

She was dead.

I dropped her mangled body, staring at my blood covered hands in muted shock. I could feel my eyes stinging, but no tears fell. I had killed an innocent, five year old girl. Nessie. I flung myself out of the car, sprinting as fast as I could and leaving the motorcycle. I needed to run, I needed to get away. Quickly, I went through a list of places where I could go. I was too ashamed to go to Carlisle—I couldn't do this to him again. He had suffered enough from the pain I had caused. But where else could I go after this?

Denali.

Images of Tanya and her sisters entered my mind. They would know what to do; they had slipped like this before. They could help me.

I turned north, knowing that I had failed Carlisle yet again.

* * *

I lay unmoving on the bed in the room that Tanya had showed me to after appearing so unexpectedly upon her doorstep covered in blood. She, Irina, and Kate had helped to strip me of my ruined clothing, using clothes to wipe me down of the blood and throwing away the evidence of my crime.

Except I didn't feel clean and the evidence was in the crimson of my eyes.

I was now curled up into a ball on the bed in a pair of sweats that the Denali Sisters had dressed me in. I couldn't bring myself to move from the fetal position that I had assumed upon being set on the bed, feeling as if my heart had been crushed and then turned to ash. I certainly deserved to die, but more so I deserved to live with the reminder of my deed fresh in my mind's eye for the rest of my never ending days.

Faintly, I could hear Tanya on the phone with who I presumed was Carlisle. I didn't want to listen to her describe to him what I looked like when I had showed up at her house and how I had fallen off the bandwagon again. Instead, I pulled my knees even closer to my chest and gave into the vision of Nessie, her cries as I slowly killed her, and then her bloodied face as I accidentally crushed her while trying to save her. How could I ever hope to be good for Carlisle and Esme, for Edward even, if I could not control myself?

By now the humans had already cleaned up the disastrous scene of the crash and one of the Cullens had gone to Seattle to get the motorcycle and clean up the rest of my mess so that in no way could we be implicated in the death of Nessie. I was truly the most pathetic person in the world—no, not person. I didn't deserve that title, the one that ensured I had a soul. No, I was a creature. A sad, selfish little creature that killed humans like they didn't matter.

And then suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't put up with Nessie's screams and her crying face inside my head. Nessie. Instantly I was up, wanting to scream so badly because of the agony coursing through me. I went into the bathroom, slamming the door closed so hard that it cracked down the middle, nearly microscopic pieces of wood flying through the air.

I turned to the old fashioned ceramic bathtub and turned on the hot water, gripping the tap a little harder than I should of, crushing it beneath my fingers so that it formed a perfect impression of my hand. I would have to pay back Tanya and her family later.

I stripped, ripping out the remnants of the braid and shaking out my long hair down my back while tossing the hair tie I had used into a corner. I didn't dare look in the mirror, afraid of the red eyes I knew would be staring back.

The tub filled up fast and as soon as it was full I turned off the hot water, steam so thick in the air that it would be hard for a human to breathe. It only served as a reminder to me that I didn't need to breathe in order to survive. The instant the boiling water hit my skin it started steaming even more, making a loud hissing noise as my icy skin entered the water. I just sat there for awhile, focusing on that steaming sound until it was no longer enough to distract me from the turmoil in my head and Tanya's voice in the lower level of the house.

My hair swirled around me, tickling my arms and back as I curled up on my side and brought my knees to my chest again, glad that I didn't have to breathe simply because I never wanted to come back up again. Here, the water created another world for me and allowed me to wallow in self-pity for a time.

I tried to keep the scenes from earlier at bay, but couldn't and instead watched in my mind as I followed the little girl and her mother, intent on seeing them home safely because I knew something bad was going to happen. Then, how I had not paid attention and lost control when their car was smashed by a semi and her blood was the only thing I could think about. I couldn't stop as I drank it, and I dug my nails into my arms, trying to forget the picture that I knew would haunt me forever. And now she was dead, everything taken away from her simply because I couldn't control myself. She would have been alive now, had I left well enough alone. Nessie was pure, kind and loving even to someone she had just met. Life was so unjust to those who truly deserved to live.

The water was just as icy as I was now, my skin temperature only slightly warmer than usual. My hair covered me like a shield, allowing me to be separate from reality, if only for a little while. I let my mind go blank, comatose, not wanting to think of any of the things I had done in my existence. I had failed so many times, hurt so many people. There wasn't one thing that I had ever done that I was actually proud of. I had been a horrible human child, never doing what my mother had wanted me to do, I had broken Carlisle's and Esme's hearts by leaving them, I had killed and slipped so many times, even after I had come back to the Cullens. I was good at being a vampire, something that I was ashamed of. Why couldn't I be like the others in their quest to redeem for all the bad things they had done? Even Jasper hadn't slipped up as many times as I had.

I wasn't sure how long I had been in the water, but eventually I heard the door to the bathroom open. I didn't bother to move, not really caring who it was or that I was nude beneath the water and my hair.

Through the cover of my hair I saw a shadowy figure appear above me and kneel at the edge of the tub. I felt myself being pulled up to the surface by my arms. The hands were familiar—large, but thin. I didn't bother to cover myself up as the beautiful blond figure of Carlisle picked up my limp form and wrapped my body in a large towel, carrying me back to that hellish room. He draped a robe around me and placed me on the large bed. I didn't want him to be here, and instinctually I cringed away from Carlisle, god-like Carlisle who was both beautiful enough and kind enough to be God.

Carlisle ran a hand soothingly over my dripping hair, which was quickly soaking into the comforter of the bed, whispering, "It's okay, Bella. Shush, shush." I hadn't realized until then that I had been sobbing tearlessly. I curled up into a ball yet again, hiding my face from him. Carlisle lay down on the bed next to me, gathering my quivering body in his arms. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, eyes tightly shut so he wouldn't see the red irises.

He continued to stroke my hair and coo comforting words into my ear as I clutched his shirt and cried. I couldn't understand why Carlisle would even speak to me after what I did, let alone touch me. Hesitantly, I pried my fingers away from his shirt while keeping my face pressed into his neck and wrapped my arms around his waist, still trembling from my crying and hoping that he wouldn't suddenly leave me.

He didn't leave, still rocking me back and forth and reassuring me. I remembered the last time Carlisle had held me like this was during the change, and he also had been crying, so upset with the pain he had caused me. I had been in the haze of pain that the venom caused, relief flooding my body wherever his cold hands and chest touched, quieting the fire in my veins. Now that I was changed, I knew that it only worked because it was supposed to ensure that the sire and the changing vampire stayed together after the change because of the bond formed during those three days. It was only to make sure that the newborn could learn enough so that it wasn't killed by other vampires or their enemies. A survival instinct. And now that same technique was being used to calm me again, to assure me that he would never leave me.

Carlisle hushed me as another sob racked through my body, petting my long hair and rubbing my back. He brought my head to the place where his non-beating heart was, cuddling me to his body. I heard Carlisle telling me that it was alright, that it wasn't my fault, but I didn't care. As long as I was with Carlisle, my sire, my _father_, everything would be okay. He would make it okay.

_Okay, I'm really sorry for taking so long to update. Things have been crazy lately, and when I first finished this chapter, I looked over it and decided I didn't like where it was going so I had to rewrite the last half of it._

_Please, please, please review. Can we try for 25 reviews?_

_Signed,_

_V.H._


	14. Stay Away

_I figured that, as it has been almost a year since I have updated, I should give you what I have. I've had this section of the chapter for ages, but I got writer's block and though I should add more. I know it's short, but at least it's something, and maybe once I get my life back under control, I can update more frequently and with longer chapters._

_Be sure to review, and there may be errors in this chapter, as it was read over while I was in a drug-induced haze (I just had my wisdom teeth removed. Fun)._

_For those that don't remember what has happened (I don't blame you, it's been awhile), here's a synopsis._

_**Bella and Edward talked after her lemonade "exploded" in the cafeteria, Bella assuring Edward that she was dangerous, but Edward managed to convince her that they should talk again. Bella agreed under the condition that the Cullens didn't find out and that they would only talk at the secluded tables outside and away from the other students.**_

_**That night, Bella and Jasper went hunting, and completely lost it over a human hiker that just happened to be nearby. They fought, but came to their senses eventually without killing anyone. They returned to the house and while Jasper immediately went to Alice for comfort, Bella decided to go for a ride on her motorcycle, ending up in Seattle.**_

_**Bella meets Nessie and her mother, Alison, at a coffee shop, who Bella could tell were fleeing from an abusive father/husband. Bella gets a gut feeling from her power that something bad is about to happen to them and follows them on her bike when they leave the café. While Bella is following them, a semi-driver loses control at an intersection and hits the Toyota that Alison and Nessie are in, killing Alison instantly and leaving Nessie injured. Bella loses control and bites Nessie, nearly killing her, and when she almost regains control, Bella accidently crushes Nessie, killing her. Bella then flees to the Denali coven, too ashamed to face Carlisle, who later comes and comforts Bella while they are in Alaska.**_

Chapter Thirteen:

Stay Away

"Bella."

It was cold, or at least it should have been. Carlisle's voice was as smooth as honey and warm, kind the entire three days we had been in Denali. I had slipped away last night during one of the few times Carlisle had left me in order to talk to Carmen and Eleazar.

Lying down in the snow, I let the white flakes drift over me, slowly burying my body in beautiful white fluff. I couldn't see Carlisle through the white packed in around me, but I was sure he could see me. The Bella-sized mound of snow probably gave me away.

I felt and heard him approach, his shoes causing the snow to crunch and send vibrations that went through my body. He stopped next to my sprawled out form.

"Bella, it's time to go."

I didn't care, it was peaceful here and there was nothing to go back to. My eyes were still orangey-red and would be some form of orange for quite awhile before the evidence of my sin faded away. It would go away if I didn't feed for two weeks, but it was too dangerous for me to forgo sustenance for so long, due to my limited control.

I had come to the realization that Edward wouldn't want to see me, anyway, if he knew the truth, so the suspicious color of my eyes wouldn't matter anymore. It broke my heart that I would have to lie to him again, but there was nothing else for me to do.

It left me with no other option. I would stay away from him, and this time I would actually do it. No letting him convince me otherwise. No letting Jasper convince me otherwise. I would leave Edward alone. The incident with Nessie proved just how weak I really was, and all it would take for me to lose control would be Edward getting a small cut. It could be a paper cut that barely bled, but it would be enough to send me over the edge. I wasn't safe.

Carlisle knelt down over me, pushing the snow over me aside until it was completely off my face. I opened my eyes to find his golden orbs gazing down at me, a sad smile upon his face. "Bella."

"Do we have to go back?" I asked, knowing that it was in vain. Of course we would have to go back to Forks. Carlisle missed his family and his wife, and the humans would be suspicious of my disappearance if I didn't make a public appearance soon.

Carlisle simply nodded, finding my hands easily in the snow and pulling me up to my feet. He put his arm around me, patting my shoulder comfortingly as he led me to his Mercedes, placing me in the passenger's seat before heading around the front of the car to climb into the driver's side.

The Denali coven had already said goodbye to us, so they were not on the porch to see us off. I sighed, leaning my head back against the headrest as I waited for Carlisle to start the car.

The silence seemed to echo in the empty space between us, and I knew Carlisle was waiting for something, but I wasn't quite sure what. I don't think he knew either.

"I heard something interesting, before I came up here," Carlisle murmured, and I saw that he was staring out the windshield at the forest surrounding the Denali's house. "When we received the phone call from Tanya about—what had happened," he visibly winced, not wanted to say the obvious, "Jasper seemed to think that it had something to do with Charlie Swan's son. Edward, I think is his name."

I had no way of denying it now. Carlisle knew that there was something going on between Edward and myself, and he was giving me a chance to come clean with him now, or else be wrung out to dry at a later date. I glanced out the passenger window, not wanting to look my sire in the eyes.

After another long silence, he asked, "Is there something you would like to tell me, Bella?"

"Not really," I whispered. "But I have no choice, do I?" I sensed that Carlisle shook his head in response.

"I have it under control," I said, still not looking at him. "I'm going to go back and not talk to him ever again, unless absolutely necessary. We don't need to move yet. He doesn't know anything about what we are. I promise. Just don't let Rosalie kill him."

I said the last part almost inaudibly, but I knew Carlisle had heard me and knew what I was talking about. We both knew what Rosalie would do if our existence was threatened. She would do anything to keep Emmett safe, and if that meant killing one inconsequential human to keep the Volturi from annihilating us, so be it.

I glanced over in time to see Carlisle nod to himself, though he still didn't start the car. "Does he mean something to you?"

We both knew I was lying when I answered. "No, he doesn't mean anything at all."

* * *

I had returned to school today after several more days of isolation in my room at the house, knowing that eventually I had to return to the human world.

I had hunted until I felt bloated with blood, gorged myself in hope that it would somehow, miraculously, force the orange out of my eyes, but it hadn't worked. They were still a horrifying burnt amber in color, which I knew Edward would notice but wouldn't say anything about. He knew something was different about me, but couldn't bring himself to confront me about it.

Once I forced him away, he would be free to move on and live a happy life, while I watched from the sidelines, never changing, always fifteen. He would live a joyful life without me.

If only I could convince him of as much.

"Edward, we can't talk to each other anymore. I'm dangerous, and there are better people out there for you to be associating with than me."

He just shook his head, pacing.

"Look Edward, I'm sorry if I upset you by not coming to talk to you, but—"

Edward shook his head again, running his hands through his beautiful hair again. "It's not that—well, part of it is, but that's not the point. No, it's just…have you ever lost a family member before?"

The question was unexpected, and I answered without thinking. "Yes. My whole family."

Edward nodded to himself, probably having realized that was what he was told when he asked about the Cullens. "Well, this morning Charlie told me that my cousin, Alison, and her daughter died last week in a car crash."

I would have paled if I was human. My head was spinning and my ears were ringing. I was terrified and ready to run. But I had to make sure. "Really?" I managed to force out, wincing internally, both at my weak voice and poor word choice. "I'm sorry," I told him, giving him a sad smile. He just nodded distractedly

"Yeah, I guess Alison was running away from her husband and was coming to stay with us. Charlie only heard about it yesterday from his sister when she called to tell us the news. She drove all the way from Oregon with her daughter and was in Seattle when it happened."

"How old were they?" He had no idea why I was really asking these questions, but I had no doubt in my mind that it was I that had killed them, not some car crash.

"Alison was twenty-six and Nessie was five."

I blanched, wanting to cry, both for Nessie and Edward, who I had hurt so much through this act, though he did not know it. "I'm sorry. It was an accident though. The semi-driver couldn't stop with the ice on the road," I tried to reassure.

Edward looked up, eyes wide. "I never said anything about a semi-driver." He started to stand, eyes wide and suspicious. "Bella, how did you know—?"

I immediately backtracked, ready to flee. "I'm sorry, but Edward, I have to go. It's not safe for me to be around you. I'm sorry about Nessie and Alison. Good day." And then I was gone, running back into the school and knowing that I had just potentially given Edward ammunition against me and let him know that maybe, just maybe, I knew more about the accident than I was supposed to.

I mentally kicked myself all the way to Biology, not caring that I was early. Why was I suddenly so careless? Had it been a different time, a different place, hell a different _person_, I would never have slipped up like that. It had to be because I was still traumatized by what I did to Nessie.

Too soon, students started filtering into the classroom, chatting animatedly and sitting down at their desks. At some point, Edward walked in and sat next to me at our communal desk. I was almost positive that he tried to talk to me, but I was so deep in my own world that I barely heard him and chose to ignore him instead. Best to be blunt, I decided, and not give him any ideas. I would not slip this time. I would _not._


End file.
